An amendment and an apology:

by alphamonkey on February 12, 2004 · 0 comments

in Miscellany

An amendment and an apology:

Upon reflection, I realized that, in listing the great films of 1986, I erroneously neglected to mention yet another hallmark in modern film-making. Yes, I completely disregarded a film that changed the way we looked at our lives, our world, and then-bankable star Steve Guttenburg. That’s right..I forgot all about

Short Circuit

This film taught us that not only is Fischer Stevens a racist comedy genius (that had sex with Michelle Pfeiffer!), or that Ally Sheedy is about as expressive as my Lazy-Boy recliner, it taught us that Johnny Number 5 is indeed, alive.

Yes, our excitable, dancing robot friend is truly alive and teaching us the meaning of friendship, love, and stereotype based comedy.

My apologies for the omission. I’m terribly sorry.

On the subject of Fischer Stevens, I’m forced to recall watching a film called ”The Burning“, in which our friend Fischer has his head removed by an angry, horribly burned janitor.  Now that may not seem so out of the ordinary, as Johnny Depp was sucked into his waterbed in ‘Nightmare on Elm Street’, and Kevin Bacon was skewered in the original “Friday the 13th”, but 1981’s “The Burning” is notable for the names involved with it’s sub-par production. The film was co-authored by Harvey Weinstein. Yes, *that*, Harvey Weinstein, co-founder of Miramax Pictures, and the man who introduced the world to Quentin Tarantino, boring Merchant Ivory period films, and the Ben Affleck classic, “Reindeer Games”.

In addition to such sterling writing by Mr. Weinstein, the film stars some young future stars like “Jason (Oh God, I’ll never be anything other than George Castanza, the chicken pimping guy) Alexander, Holly (I got naked with Harvey Keitel for an Oscar) Hunter, and hollywood icon, Brian Backer. Well, I guess he’s not really an icon. More like a fixture of my cable-ridden childhood.  However, the piece de resistance of this film lies in the haunting, casio-keyboard riddled score from prog-rock bastion (and cloak wearing freak) Rick Wakeman.

For those of you completely ignorant of Prog-Rock (also known as Progressive Rock or more common, shit-rock), Rick Wakeman was the keyboardist for Yes, a band with none too few crimes against man committed to vinyl form.  But the Rickster stands out. Why? Because this man felt his genius was such that he could write a concept album about King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. Not so bad, right? Wrong…this curry-guzzling freak decided that the only way to truly convey his work’s complete mind-raping artistry was to perform the album live…..ON ICE.  Good call, hippie.

Anway, I’ve rambled on enough. This is what happens when I don’t have any good news stories to share with you kind folk. Sorry about that. Here’s hoping something blows up and people return to their normal idiotic behavior.

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