April 2004

A man is selling his ex-wife’s dress on ebay.  Quality narrative.


The auction ended at $3,850.00. That’s a lot of baseball and beer. Enjoy! 


Do you remember the post about the “world’s largest ball of paint”?

Well now there’s a movie being made about the whole town and their famous pair of ballz! You got to see the trailer on the site, you’ll wanna live in a small town after seeing this flic smile


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Wow…the bar has officially been lowered straight into hell

See the smiling red-head holding the lil’ baby? Well, in an effort to prove to the rest of the world that maybe this country might deserve to be nuked from the face of the earth, she’s pitting 5 couples against each other for the chance to ‘win’ her baby. On TV. 20/20 to be exact.  And no one is stopping her……..

Auctioning off a live baby. Sweet, creamy Jesus…

Here’s a little heads up for the prospective ‘parents’: If the mother of the child is willing to auction off her baby on national television, there’s a good chance that her insanity is genetic. Not to mention, no one wants a trashy baby.


Click for this exciting new offer from Transbuddha!

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Imagining that your fat, lard infested, beer chugging, doughnut eatin, bucket o waste can do a back flip on the diving board?




Believing that your drugged out skinny ass can take on a woman of that size?




Thinking that your crazy ass can grind a rail after a 12 foot drop?




Miramax is planning SIX DVD releases for the Kill Bill series. While I’m normally patient in waiting for the full-on ‘special editions’ of films to come out on DVD, I must admit this is pissing me off.  There is not a single good reason outside blatant greed for releasing this many DVD versions of a film that most fans want to see as a whole package….

From Boston.com:

Here’s how Rick Sands, Miramax’s chief operating officer, explained it to The New York Times last week:

“ `Vol. 1’ goes out, `Vol. 2’ goes out, then `Vol. 1 Special Edition,’ `Vol. 2 Special Edition,’ the two-pack, then the Tarantino collection as a boxed set for Christmas,” he said. “It’s called multiple bites at the apple.”

It’s called raping your fan base, you callous dickhead!  Some of us have more important things to spend our money on besides an infinite stream of ‘definitive’ editions of films we’ve ALREADY paid to see.  wow…that really clarifies Miramax’s reasoning behind splitting Kill Bill into two separate films, don’t it?

This is just as annoying as record labels continually releasing albums with more and more extras without giving you any credit for having bought them the first time.



They tend to be (wait for it….) volatile. (ba-dum-dum!)From The Scotsman

Robbers Die Trying to Hold-Up Suicide Bomber

A Hamas suicide bomber blew up two armed Palestinians who tried to rob him at gun point in the Gaza Strip.

Hamas claimed the “stickup men” worked for Israeli intelligence, while Palestinian security forces said the two were ordinary thieves.

Rather than give up his explosives, the bomber detonated them, killing himself and the two robbers near the border fence between Gaza and Israel.

Palestinian security officials said the the gunmen were criminals who were involved in a car theft ring that brought stolen vehicles from Israel to Gaza.

Hamas said the bomber was on his way to try to infiltrate into Israel, accompanied by another Hamas member and a guide, when they were stopped by the armed men.

The robbers forced the bomber to lie on the ground and tried to steal the bomb, but the militant detonated it, killing all three. The other Hamas man and the guide escaped.

There have been cases of rival groups stealing each other’s explosives, but no group claimed the two gunmen, and their families did not go to the hospital to take the bodies, indicating that the two were not militants, who are revered in Palestinian society.

A Hamas official said that whatever their intention, the two should be considered agents of Israel. “Anyone who tries to stop a fighter from doing his work is a collaborator,” he said, speaking on condition of anonymity.


Pop Quiz, Jack

by alphamonkey on April 27, 2004 · 4 comments

in Uncategorized

Quick: You’re 15 years old. You’re out camping. You wake up to find a 180kg bear in your tent. What do you do, Jack? WHAT DO YOU DO?You beat the holy hell out of it, that’s what you do.

A 15-year-old boy on an Alaskan wilderness expedition fought off a 180kg brown bear that entered his tent.

The boy awoke to find the bear sitting at his feet. After trying unsuccessfully to back out of the tent, the boy was bitten on the arm and decided to fight back, punching the bear a number of times, Alaska State Trooper Adam Benson said yesterday.

When the teenager tried to run, the bear bit him again below his ribs, leaving puncture wounds in his back, Mr Benson said.

The boy punched the bear again until it let him go and let off an air horn from his pack in the bear’s muzzle, alerting others in the camp.The bear finally retreated after counsellors blasted her with pepper spray and fired a flare at her feet.

Late on Saturday, following the morning attack, officials found the sow in the campsite area on Deer Island in southeast Alaska and killed her. The boy was flown to a hospital, where he was treated before being sent home.

“I think he is the biggest, baddest thing in the woods. He punched the bear,” said Steve Prysunka director of the six-week “Crossing Wilderness Expeditions for Youth” program for emotionally troubled youths.

The Associated Press

Hehe! “He punched the bear”!