God’s Mimes

by ZolarCzakl on April 9, 2004 · 1 comment

in News

Every now and then something comes along that’s so mind boggling, so unbelievable and just plain weird that it kind of changes your whole outlook on life. Lately this has been happening to me on Sundays; for instance, today I saw five movie trailers that made me completely lose my faith in humanity (which is, for me, a daily occurrence) and actually kind of made me want to go on a killing spree. I mean why do we need a fucking Jerry Bruckheimer retelling of King Arthur? And the Wayan brothers dressing up like white chicks? Well, that’s not what this post is about. This post is about something much grander, much more specialized, much more… just plain weird. Last Sunday morning (after a night of heavy drinking), I turned on my TV and flipped a few channels until BET brought me a wonderful, beautiful crazy-filled morsel of the true sweetness and tragedy that is humanity: K & K Mime.


Here they are, Keith and Karl, the “Originators of Gospel-Mime,” a movement that must be sweeping the nation at this very moment.

“These identical twins silently interpret contemporary Gospel music with dramatic gestures and animated facial expressions, portraying man’s resisting of life’s evil temptations and His transformation from doubter to believer.” (from the K & K Mime website)

Ok, here’s what I saw: It was on stage at one of those gargantuan made-for-TV churches that hold like 2,000 people in stadium seating. A recording of a really terrible gospel song came on and one of the twins began a solo mime while the other one stood to the side and watched. Later, the other twin joined in for a rousing and morbid finale. The “dramatic gestures” consisted of what looked like Keith trying to emit a giant beam of light from his chest straight up to heaven while Karl stomped around like a circus clown trying to make the audience of crying children not leave because the lion just ate its tamer. The “animated facial expressions” consisted of super-exaggerated contortions alternating between extreme elation and deep psychotic depression. I mean, just look at this picture:

At the climax of the song (you know, the part of the gospel song where the singer extends every word out to about a million syllables) the words “He was stretched out!” were sung and K & K stretched out their arms, feigning being stretched out on a cross. When the words “He was hung up!” were sung, K & K cocked their heads to the side and swung their forearms down much like one would do for an early 80’s robot dance. Finally when “For our si-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ns!” was sung, they went back to stomping and shooting out God’s chest-tractor-beam. I would have been laughing if I hadn’t been so COMPLETELY FUCKING FREAKED OUT by the whole thing.

So the only thing left was to stagger out of my room and tell others of this true wonder. A website was found, and it was our duty to all of you loyal Transbuddhists to procure video of this blessed duo. Unfortunately, it’s not what I saw that fateful morning on BET, but this will give you an idea of the atrocities of which I speak. Watch the video, visit the site, and pray hard. Pray hard for your soul and for all of humanity.


Next post: Doggies in Heaven.


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  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/shadwstalkr Shadow Stalker

    They’re King Solomon’s Mimes.

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