Well…Ronald Reagan died today.
Smarty Jones lost at the Belmont, thereby dashing anyone’s hopes that the coveted Triple Crown would be won.
But you know what?
You should be HAPPY. Screw that…you should damn well be ecstatic! You should be jumping for joy in the streets, kissing strangers, giving kids a playful tussle of the hair, and singing ‘hosannas’ unto the world.
Because today, of all days, CREED broke up!
Hurrah for humanity!
That’s exactly how we feel, you talentless fuckhole.