10 Reasons Why Baby Boomers Don’t Deserve Social Security

by alphamonkey on August 22, 2004 · 6 comments

in Stupid People

As many of you may be aware, we are reaching the point where many Baby Boomers will eligible to draw from Social Security creating a terrible strain on an already beleagured system.  Our esteemed President thinks that we should allow individuals and groups to enter those monies into the international stock markets.  I’m okay with that, as long as only the money going to his generation is the money being played with.

In fact, screw that. Let’s solve a big problem and cut off the Boomers from Social Security altogether.  Now, that may seem overly harsh to some, but those bleeding crybabies are forgetting about the horrors upon horrors that the Boomers have visited upon the rest of us due to their intense and all-consuming self-love and inflated sense of self-importance.

So here are 10 Reasons Why Baby Boomers Don’t Deserve Social Security.

This list is potentially endless, I just thought to touch on the salient points for brevity’s sake.  Feel free to suggest your own reasons.

  1. Macrame
  2. Bob Seger. Shut your mullet-coiffed piehole, you white trash Springsteen wannabe.
  3. Alan Alda as a sex symbol
  4. For somehow tricking the modern world into thinking that teenagers are important and have opinions worth listening to
  5. Kevin Costner. He’s like Keanu Reeves but less lifelike.
  6. Corporate Rock. Yeah, that’s right. It’s YOUR FAULT, Boomers!
  7. 1981-1990. Not a part of, not some of, but the whole damn decade.
  8. Gallagher. Yes, they must pay for this.
  9. HIPPIES. This doesn’t require any further explanation.
  10. George W. Bush. His existence, his sense of entitlement, and his election.  You should have picked the Lock-Box option, Boomers.
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  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/shadwstalkr Shadow Stalker

    Is that a roll of quarters in Kevin Costner’s pants?

  • Souped_up_on_Jihad

    And, as a bonus, I throw my fuel on the fire with my number one reason:

    1. Giving birth and passing boomer values on to Generation Y.

  • http://www.dadsbigplan.com .alphamonkey.

    I dunno if that’s worse than making Pastels cool.

  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/shadwstalkr Shadow Stalker

    Underparenting, overgrandparenting.

  • http://360.yahoo.com/razorfine_review Thundarr

    Hey, I take exception to #7.  The Eighties gave us great stuff……..like Smurfs and Shrinky Dinks, and um…..give me a second……..Members Only Jackets, and well this isn’t going as well as I thought.  Hey it did give us Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Empire Strikes Back, The Terminator, Escape From New York, it killed off disco (and if that isn’t a worthy honor I don’t know what is), and gave hope to millions of unemployed actors that if Corey Feldman and Corey Haam could have film careers, well then anybody could.  So come on, you love the eighties, you know you do!

  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/shadwstalkr Shadow Stalker

    It also gave us He-Man, CDs, VHS, Microsoft, both the IBM PC and the Apple Whatever, and Minnesota.

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