I got an Extremely Urgent Letter!
Who could it be from? Believe it or not, it’s from John Kerry!
It was even the first letter he sent! I know because he wrote a one in the upper right corner of the envelope.
They did a pretty good job of making the font look hand-written. The checked boxes are staggered:
And it looks like the ink is bleeding into the paper:
Of course, closer inspection shows that the letters are identical:
And then there’s the aliasing, not often found in handwriting:
Still, they went to great lengths to make this look like a personal communication from John Kerry. Does anybody actually believe this stuff?
Inside is a moving letter about poor Democratic candidates that need my money to win elections. To help, they included a form on which I can give a personal reply to John Kerry (replies in the form of cash are preferred):
John Kerry’s name is all over this. The DNC would have me believe that he sat up late the evening he accepted the party nomination and hand addressed envelopes to a select few registered voters that he knew he could count on. The letter inside has his name in big bold letters and is signed by him. Imagine my surprise at seeing this at the very bottom on the back of the “Personal Reply” form:
What kind of sick joke is this?