The Contraceptive Powers of the Lemon

by Souped_up_on_Jihad on September 30, 2004 · 19 comments

in Sexuality

I knew that lemons were great for adding a little kick to water, to suck on after a shot of vodka, or to add pleasent odors to household cleaning products, but who knew how much more lemons can do?

imageIndia, if you are unware, has a huge problem with over population. This problem has led the lawmakers and health experts in India to explore the different ways to control the population. Debate on birth control in the United States have generally been limited to the question of teaching children about birth control in schools, at home, both, or neither. India puts a new twist in to this debate by asking the question, could lemons be a viable form of birth control? As it turns out, lemon juice has spermicidial properties and could act as a minimal form of birth control. Click here for the rest of the details

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  • FlyBoy311

    Ok Jihad… last time I checked… any MANLY drinker doesn’t suck on a slice of lemon after a shot of VODKA…. only after a shot of TEQUILA does such actions take place….  wink

  • Shadow Stalker

    You suck on lemon after tequila?  I bet you put water in scotch, too.  Pussy.

  • .alphamonkey.

    Oh, snap!

  • FlyBoy311

    Son, I use to bartend before I joined the USAF… I dont use lemons on anything… even pussies haha..

  • .alphamonkey.

    Oh, sorry Iceman. I’m not cool enough to not like lemons.  cheese

  • FlyBoy311

    That’s a negative ghostrider, the pattern is full.

  • .alphamonkey.

    ha-ha! awesome!

  • FlyBoy311

    Oh yes… I am the king of movie quotes.. =)

  • Souped_up_on_Jihad

    I had some shot called a lemon drop one time, I belive it was vodka, I could be mistaken though.

  • Shadow Stalker

    Absolut Citron and sugar is what I’ve seen called a lemon drop.

  • inoir

    Some studies show that it is very good at killing the HIV virus also.  It has no effect on HPV.  Also if you don’t like using a scrap of linen soaked in juice, you can cut it in half and use it as a diaphragm. 

    I can’t wait to convience my girl to put on a lemon half as a cervical cap.  Sounds like a good mood starter.

  • Shadow Stalker

    They want women to put lemon juice down there?  But that’s soft tissue, that would burn like hell!

  • inoir

    Some people like it like that.

  • .alphamonkey.

    that’s why my favorite contraceptive jelly is Icy Hot.

  • The Good Reverend

    “When life gives you lemons, make spermicides.” No, I still like the original saying better.

    Are we sure that this is true, and not just the male Indian population trying to drop a subtle hint to their partners about “freshness” down there? 

    M: “Honey, try a squeeze of lemon.”

    W: “What are you saying?!”

    M: “Nothing, nothing at all!  Hey, it’s a spermicide!”

    I could totally see this being the result of the Indian Dept. of Health Minister getting in seeeerious trouble with the missus one night, covering with a lie about it being a spermicide, and now this lie has spun out of control into a massive Indian awareness campaign, all in an effort for this poor guy to cover his ass.

  • Captain Seafart

    I prefer limes, anyway.

  • Cooper Cronk

    plying her with lemon margharitas can have the exact opposite effect.


    ” … any MANLY drinker doesn’t suck on a slice of lemon after a shot of VODKA….”

    There’ll be plenty of MANLY drinkers drowning their sorrows tonight after the sea eagles go down in the grand final.

  • Mark

    Well that’s a new one for me.

    I wonder does naturally made lemonade work just as well?

  • earth

    I believe it works. There is historical facts that Cleopatra used the lemon as a form of contraceptive. I am thinking about giving it a try.

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