Who is Gay America’s #1 Enemy?

by alphamonkey on September 6, 2004 · 1 comment

in Audio Visual,News,Stupid People

Judging from this next little musical wonder, the answer is gays themselves. Now that SS’s haircut has forced him to step from the tasteful closet he’s been hiding in, I think now is the perfect time to posit this universal question: Why is it that gays and lesbians spend some much time demanding to be taken seriously only to turn around and present themselves in the worst possible light at every opportunity?

I’m cool with Gay Pride and all that, but I’m not certain slathering silver body paint all over yourself and dry-humping a mannequin whilst riding a giant paper-mache float shaped like a penis is the #1 way to bring the ‘breeders’ around to embracing your deliciously sinful and fabulous lifestyle.  In fact, I ‘m relatively certain that every single time there is a Gay Pride parade, acceptance of gay and lesbians is set back 15 years.

And while we’re at it, perhaps the best way to show mainstream America that gay and lesbian marriage is just as wholesome and loving as ‘traditional’ marriage isn’t by having two mustached men wearing habits fellating each other during your protest march. 

I’m just sayin’…

Gay themed entertainment doesn’t do too much more to help, either.  While I understand that the point of gay-themed entertainment isn’t exactly to pander to my breeder brain, I do have to wonder why the gay community doesn’t demand a less-stereotype re-enforcing caliber of entertainment for themselves.

Take, for example, these gentlemen.

Their name : Mandonna

Thier mission: To be the BEST all-male Madonna tribute act on the market.

I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that the all-male Madonna tribute band market is fairly small, so to Mandona I say: “Congratulations! Mission Accomplished!”.

Unfortunately for Mandonna, were a couple of mental patients to discover a Casio keyboard and a Mr. Microphone one morning after a paticularly brutal session of electro-shock therapy, that coveted title would most certainly have to be handed over to the nut-jobs.

Crappy, crappy vocal work by their Black-Metal reject looking front-man combined with musical chops that are outshined by the shitty MIDI versions of Madonna songs that pepper their website make for a truly bar-lowering act of musical torture.  Not to mention the fact that the crew of Mandonna make Erasure look like Pantera in the toughness category…

Gay America, I do indeed cherish you and wish you the best, but for the love of all that’s good, only so many horrors can be comitted in the name of Camp.

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  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/shadwstalkr Shadow Stalker

    This is an argument that I’ve always had with my gay friends.  Being gay just means that you sexually prefer your own gender.  Why insist on tying all that extra flamboyant culture to it?

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