According to this New Scientist article, scientists have successfully extracted brain cells from a rat, glued them to gold electrodes in a Petri dish, hooked them up to the controls of a virtual F-22 fighter jet, and flown it. To which Dr. Moreau responded, “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph – that’s some f#%^ed up s%*t right there.”
Yes, using grant dollars from the Evangelical Christian Political Ammunition Fund, a government science fund set up to convince “swing voters” that The End is indeed “Nigh”, researchers at the U. of Florida managed to get an “array of 25,000 interconnected neurons” to measure flight conditions and correct the plane’s flight path accordingly.
Project lead, Thomas DeMarse:
I just have to give a great amount of credit to the whole research team for seeing this through. I mean, first there was PETA. Then there were the conspiracy nuts that got this wacky notion that brain cells being used to form computers that could operate military weaponry was somehow more proof of “The New World Order”. And then some Jesus freaks caught wind of the tests and started with their “offense against Creation” business. Hell, God Himself even stepped in, sending hurricane after hurricane right at the lab.. and then of course there were the Visions. But you know what? Fuck Him. Keep it up and He’ll find me using snail DNA to fly missiles up His Ass. I am God here!!!”
If the Nobel committee ever creates a Mother Nature Date Rape category, I think we have ourselves a nominee.