An msnbc story reports that a man at the zoo in Taipei was injured today when he purposely leaped into the lion’s exhibit and called on the animals to renounce their heathen ways and convert to Christianity.
You read that correctly. The lions (who are Zoroastrian like much of their species) promptly attacked the man. Go figure – a 1000 pound carniverous cat attacking an idiot waving an f-ing bible in their faces. I have attacked people for the same, and I am neither 1000 pounds nor have the sharp, pointy teeth.
I have to say, I am really becoming frustrated with natural selection. How did this guy make it to adulthood? Come on, Evolution. Get the lead out.
At this time, I would like to draw fundamentalist Christians’ attention to a terrible problem in these United States. I have noticed a sharp decline in Christian values amongst America’s large, carniverous animal populations. I mean, when is the last time you saw a grizzly bear, mountain lion, or perhaps a pack of wolves in church on Sunday morning? I am concerned, as should you be.
Please do your part for Jesus. Grab a Bible and a picnic lunch (the scent will attract the heathens to you!) and head out into your American wilderness! Please make sure to do this before the next round of elections. And in those final moments when you are..umm, “converting” your predat- err, new friend of Jesus – to the ways of the Lord, just remember – you are doing your part to save America.
Thanks to Aunt Weezy for the find