Death Metal to Die by….

by alphamonkey on November 9, 2004 · 6 comments

in Entertainment,News,Sexuality

imageI was snorting some cocaine last night and had some Mayhem flashbacks. You do know who Mayhem is, right? I know that most of you have had sheltered little lives away from the beams of hatred and hellfire, so I’ll fill you in. Mayhem is death metal. Mayhem is the white horse’s cocaine. Mayhem is everything you are not and everything you are. Mayhem is what most of you guys would be if you had ANY balls.

The Lords of Hellfire

For those of you that would rather skip the suicide photos, the ramblings of the convict lead guitarist, and other darketies – I give to you the soft version:

VH1 is for pussies

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    Mayhem is what most of you guys would be if you had ANY balls.


    I would agree with this statement if instead of “ANY balls” you had only written “bought into a selfish philosophy of life that degenerates man through murder and suicide and flows from hating your parents’ religion because they too are sinners in need of the grace of God through Jesus Christ our Lord whose death on the cross was the realization of our merciful (through no immediate punishment) yet fair (promising justice for the wronged) God’s wrath for said treachery.” But, you didn’t say that so I’ll have to respectfully disagree on that point.

  • .alphamonkey.

    I really feel badly for Odin that these are the kinds of people that still pay him worship. How embarassing that must be at deity parties.

    “Yah, I’ve still got some hardcore followers, but they wear a lot of black fingernail polish and tend to cannibalize their guitar players.  There is no fucking way I’m letting these boneheads into Valhalla. “

  • agdeez

    Funny.  When I snort cocaine I have flashbacks of the Last Starfighter.  What a difference a sheltered life makes.

  • agdeez

    No, I discovered Peter Weller, who I forgot to mention is a fan of Mayhem.

  • .alphamonkey.

    Yah, Weller spent all his time with either Miles Davis or the kids from Mayhem.  No wonder he’s such cinematic genius. I can’t wait to see his work in the TV mini-series of The Poseiden Adventure

  • The Good Reverend

    Harvestor, this is obviously a Christmas post.  Please hold onto these posts until the appropriate time of year.

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