Salvation for Freaks

by alphamonkey on November 23, 2004 · 9 comments

in Stupid People

Do you worry that your deviant lifestyle might not be a golden ticket into heaven? Are you unsure whether your furry bear suit might not pass the dress code posted on the Pearly Gates? Well worry no more! One dedicated individual has finally decided that that werewolf and furry communities are in dire need of salvation, and he’s gonna give it to ‘em. I'm not sure if a dragon is the right mascot for this page

Let’s sum-up our new pal Moltar’s ministry:

I no longer play roleplaying games. I don’t need them. I have the Holy Spirit to give me miraculous powers. I have the Father to supply all my needs. I have Jesus to change me into a dragon and create neat lizard people to assist me in heaven. I don’t need the fantasy because I have the reality.

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  • fealty2dahriyah

    there is too much here to laugh at

    I’ve added an explanation of my need to change into a dragon for all my Christian friends to read, a short essay on Schizotypal Personality Disorder, and a rant against the persecution of Christians in third world countries. This dragon’s been working hard.

    His eyes may stare while he stand more erect.

    or he lets fungus grow on the buds to extract, purify, and possibly change the chemical structure of the THC.<—- if fungus grows on your stash… you betcha you’ll see jesus.

    here’s the icing on the cake

    However, the Christian church is the most persecuted of all ethnic groups. I can say, albeit without much pride, that people of my religion are getting imprisoned, tortured, kidnapped, and executed more than people of any other religion.

  • Pragmatist

    oh man what a crazy web site.  Im kinda confused because I dont remember any good dragons in the bible, but hey maybe this guy wants a whore ridding on his back while he walks out of the sea.

    As far as most persecuted, I dunno, I havn’t heard a lot about christians being persecuted these days.  I know they are passing laws in our country.  And if they dont get a warm welcome in third world countries maybe they should stop traveling through those countries preaching things that sounds as absurd to those people as this guys web site.

    Just my take though

  • Thundarr

    I can’t decide whether he is serious and mentally deranged or just has a whacked out sense of humor.

    “Vampires typically don’t want to be vampires.” Have you ever seen a vampire movie???

    “The Theory of Evolution is simply that. A theory. It has been proven to be an incorrect theory and should be thrown out, but the schools continue to teach it because despite its errors”

    You must live in Kansas, you putz.

    “However, liking gay people does not mean that I condone their behavior. I myself have had homoerotic fantasies, but I know its wrong, so I try to avoid them, though sometimes I fail.”

    Well, we all know what Homophobia REALLY means, don’t we?  Hmmmm….Harvestor?

  • fealty2dahriyah

    in the immortal words of the all knowing moltar or mullet

    We Christians accept people from all walks of life. I’m proof of that.

    I have been told that my shifter feelings are a lie from satan and that God has a plan for me in this human body. Well I don’t know what that plan is, and as far as I can see, that divine plan will never see fruition because I feel too much like a loser to implement it.

    So I need to be a dragon, a beautiful and powerful dragon that’s fears not what men can say or do and attracts many followers. If I was a dragon, I could do so much good for this world because my self-confidence would return to me. I pray constantly to God to change me, and He tells me to wait.

    If I can handle being a Christian, you can too, because I’m more f***** up than you are.

  • The Good Reverend

    My favorite line so far: “Nor do I have the time to prove everything I say with verses from the Bible”. 

    Phew!  We were spared him laying down some hard core, irrefutable FACTS from the BIBLE.

  • fealty2dahriyah

    i think this all goes back to the chronic w/ mold on it!

  • Just Plain Bob

    i’m not even gonna TOUCH this one.

  • .alphamonkey.

    Oh, you know you want to.

  • fealty2dahriyah

    good cuz u’r suppose to smoke it

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