I love grilled cheese sandwiches. Not to blow my own horn, but I must say I make damned good ones. Various cheese blends, various breads, special seasonings here and there… my grilled cheeses are f-ing the bomb. However, I have been out of sorts at work all day, for I just found out that someone has bested me. I found out today that there exists a grilled cheese sandwich that, 2000 years ago, gave birth to the baby Jesus.
You heard correctly! Now if I were to try to sell one of my 10 year-old grilled cheese sandwiches on eBay, people would look at me like I was mad. But what if my sandwich had squirted out the Son of God, Saviour of all Mankind from its cheesy loins?! How much is that worth?! Oddly enough, I can tell you: $13,000 at the time of this writing. My sandwiches simply can’t compete; that sandwich is dynamite! The most miraculous thing my sandwiches have ever done is magically make the outer layer of the roof of my mouth disappear.
By the way, the woman actually took a bite out of the sandwich before realizing its Divinity, framing it, and keeping it on her nightstand for 10 years. Talk about your Body of Christ! Delicious!
Hurry over there and place your bid! btw, I’m assuming you all realize by now that there is no hope for our species. That should be painfully and comically obvious by now.