A Busch-ale of Monkey

by alphamonkey on January 20, 2005 · 14 comments

in Announcements,Entertainment,Miscellany,Stupid People

So, you want to know a little about Alphamonkey?  Well, let me tell you….  A new day dawns for Transbuddha, as Thundarr the Barbarian posts for the first time!

We here at Transbuddha get many letters and questions from faithful viewers and bloggers.  I don’t think it would surprise you to learn many of these messages have the same topic, our beloved Alphamonkey.  Questions such as, “What’s the real alphamonkey like?”, “Is monkey single?”, “Does he date black men?”, “Can you set him up with my brother?” So I thought I would take the opportunity of my first posting to describe our self proclaimed Head Monkey in Charge and let you know more about him.

The pic is of Adam Busch, who played the character of Warren on Alphamonkey’s favorite of shows, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  Aside from the strong physical resemblence, including the exact same haircut as monkey when I orginally met him, Warren has many qualities in common with our pal alphamonkey.

Warren you see has a thing for robots, in fact he is introduced on the show in an 5th season episode where he has built himself a sexbot.  Sound familiar monkey?

We also learn that Warren has a problem with strong women, another connection perhaps?  And even goes so far as to kill his ex-girlfriend.  I know, I know, just because we never see any of monkey’s ex’s around doesn’t mean he killed them…..or does it?

What else….yes, Warren joins with two friends he used to play Dungeons & Dragons with, and often argues and quotes bad sci-fi movies with, to take over Sunnydale.  Much like monkey and his pals joining forces to take over the Net.

But these are just coincidental things, does monkey truly act like Warren?  The answer is yes.  Warren is a sarcastic and sardonic character who often likes to argue about movies.  Remind you of anyone?  Here take a look at one example:

Andrew: “We are really super-villains now, like…like Dr. No.”

Warren: “Yeah, back when Bond was Connery, and movies were decent.”

Jonathan: “Who remembers Connery? I mean, Roger Moore was smooth.”

Warren: “You’re insane. You’re short, and you’re insane.”

Andrew: “I like Timothy Dalton!” (Warren smacks him) “Hey!”

Warren: “Don’t make me pull over, okay?”

Warren: Connery is Bond.  He had style.

Jonathan: Yeah, but Roger Moore was funny.

Warren: Moonraker?  The gondola turns into a hovercraft?  It’s retarded.  Besides, the guy had, like, no edge.

Andrew: Dalton had edge. In License to Kill he was a rogue agent.  That’s edgy.  (Warren and Jonathon look at him incredulously).  And he was amazing in The Living Daylights.

Jonathan: Yeah, which was written for Roger Moore, not Timothy Dalton!

Warren: Okay, this is stupid!  We’re wasting time.  End of discussion.  (Jonathon and Andrew nod their agreement, turn to their consoles, and begin typing)…I mean, there’s a shot of like, pigeons, doing double takes when the gondola blasted by!  Moonraker . . . is inexcusable.  (Andrew and Jonathan stare at him).  Connery is the only actor in the bunch.

Andrew: Timothy Dalton should get an Oscar and (yells) beat Sean Connery over the head with it!

Warren: That’s it (getting up and attacking)

Well, I hope that helps you understand our monkey friend a little better, and if you’d like to see more just check out BTVS seasons 6 & 7.  Remember, if you like our monkey, you’ll love Buffy!

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1 Just Plain Bob January 20, 2005 at 11:03 pm

my interview was sexier than your biography.

go back to journalism school, n00b.

2 Thundarr January 20, 2005 at 11:17 pm

Whatever dude, take it from someone who knows, this is soooooooo him!

3 Davion January 20, 2005 at 11:09 pm

How enjoyable.  Well done.

4 Davion January 21, 2005 at 12:18 am


Are we gettin comment spammed again? 


oh yeah Thundarr.  I wanna see some funny ass posts from ya.

5 mrcookieface January 21, 2005 at 12:37 am

I think I’ve known alphamonkey longer than anyone here.

For the record, he’s nine-feet-tall and sports a handlebar mustache.

He’s a man above men.

6 .alphamonkey. January 21, 2005 at 12:41 am

cookie, you’re confusing me with your mailman again.

7 .alphamonkey. January 21, 2005 at 1:52 am

Oh, for Buddha’s sake. .

8 Thundarr January 21, 2005 at 9:55 am

The resemblance is….astonishing.

9 .alphamonkey. January 21, 2005 at 12:05 pm

You’re not very good at facial recognition, Thundarr.

10 The Good Reverend January 21, 2005 at 2:08 am

Ok!  Ok!  Ladies!  Pleeease stop with the letters and candlelight vigils outside my bedroom window!  I, too, will provide a .  Since you all asked.  Now, Monkey’s was just a casual, at-home shot, whereas mine was from a shoot I was doing at a Hollywood premiere.  I’m not trying to upstage him – it’s the only photo I had handy.

At what price, fame, Alphamonkey?  <shatner inflection>At.. what.. price?</shatner>

11 .alphamonkey. January 21, 2005 at 2:16 am

Hollywood premier? Somehow I think the arrival of your debut “Boys Will Do Boys” at the local Video Hut counts as a premier.

12 The Good Reverend January 21, 2005 at 2:13 pm

if you are trying to one-up me in insulting me on this thread, take another look at the picture.  You can’t win this one, chief.

13 .alphamonkey. January 21, 2005 at 4:26 pm

One-up? No, no. I was just providing context.

14 fealty2dahriyah January 21, 2005 at 12:22 pm

does the madness end when we all send in our best headshots?

I want to be america’s next top model… and alpha I’m going to ride you coatstails all the way up.

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