Halo: the new designer drug

by The Good Reverend on January 22, 2005 · 17 comments

in Games

I found this article funny because I live it.  It is a commentary on Halo addictions among men.

I share an apt with my brother, a Halo addict.  Almost every night when I get home from work, he’s on Xbox Halo Live.  It really is a sight – seeing a grown man with the “Judy from Time Life operator” headset on, talking smack with males ranging in age from 8 years old to god-knows-how-old.  And the user names!  Names like “MastaKilla”, “Shadowprancer”, and a thousand different names with “420” on the end.  Go figure… pot smokers playing Halo into the wee hours.

And you thought our site was a productivity killer!

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1 Just Plain Bob January 23, 2005 at 2:38 am

<quote>Stupid woman: I just don’t get it!</quote>

I can’t stand that kind of thing.. it infuriates me. Shut the hell up, moron, and go by yourself some shoes. Maybe that makes some more sense.

Here, women, i’ll explain it to you. Listen REAL close, ready?

When women have problems or obstacles they can’t overcome, they discuss it with other women. This gives them a sense of accomplishment and fulfilment; men reach this sense of accomplishment only when they have achieved an actual victory against their obstacle. If they cannot succeed against the obstacle, they just find OTHER problems to solve, in place of their own. This can be as simple as reading a newspaper and imagining better solutions to the problems of the world (“Bush is an idiot.. he should’ve done X-Y-Z”) to watching sports and telling their teams exactly how to win (“YOU CAN DO IT! Get to the endzone! GO! GO!”) to playing video games. They take on the struggles of the character in the game (in this case, “Master Chief” must defeat aliens) and solve his problem for him (by killing the aliens). This leads to a sense of victory and self-worth, thus assuaging the feelings of inadequacy brought on by failure to solve his own insurmountable difficulties.

FUN FACT: you know how men get mad when you try and tell them to get directions? it’s based in the same need for self-accomplishment.

(what, you thought it was going to be a sarcastic, useless comment?)

2 .alphamonkey. January 23, 2005 at 3:11 am

Monkey prefer Rainbox Six: Three

3 Cananopie January 23, 2005 at 2:11 pm

I used to like Counterstrike a few years ago on the computer before it really started taking off and becoming super popular. Then I stopped because I only had a cable connection and everyone else was playing with their fricken high speed college connections and there was no point in having a ping about 50 slower than everyone else, it just gets frusterating when they run into a room and shoot you in the head before you even see them.

ANYWAYS- I’m glad I’m off of it. I know a few people who are addicted to Halo and I don’t ever want to play that or SWAT or anything else like it because it wastes so much time and is so worthless.

4 .alphamonkey. January 23, 2005 at 2:43 pm

because it wastes so much time and is so worthless.

Nice potshot at those of us who do enjoy such games.

While I don’t argue that it can eat a lot of time, I certainly argue that it is worthless.  After a crappy day I can pop a beer and hop on the pistol servers and I’ll feel better in about 10 minutes.  There’s nothing like directing your anger and rage into a healthy and harmless outlet to make you not wish to kill everyone.

5 Cananopie January 23, 2005 at 3:13 pm

Hey. Remember, I understand the joys of interactive gaming. And if I wanted to I could be in the center of interactive gaming heaven. But the problem is I liked it too much and it IS a good time. But at the end of the day I get nothing in return but a fix much like I assume a cigarette does with nicotene, or probably more accurately what heroin does. But my mental and physical abilities have probably suffered from it, because I’ve played enough REGULAR video games to have my hand-eye coordination via a controller on target. So that area does not need to be improved upon.

I try to read a book or something now and I have to admit it’s much more fulfilling. i’m not saying they’re bad. I apologize for saying they’re worthless, because they have worth in one category. Slight entertainment value. A paintball game would be way cooler though. And same idea.

6 .alphamonkey. January 23, 2005 at 3:41 pm

Once again, I must disagree. I think online gaming fufills one very important need: the need for competition. My friends all have different schedules, it’d take forever to try and get say, a game of football together. With RS:3, I can just hop on whenever and have at it, and satisfy that itch to compete. It’s a powerful instinct and I think we do ourselves a disservice by ignoring or marginalizing it.

7 The Good Reverend January 23, 2005 at 5:49 pm

I think calling video games “competition” is, in itself, a marginalization of competition.

8 .alphamonkey. January 23, 2005 at 6:09 pm

So says Mr. Volleyball. (*cough, *ghay*, cough*)

So video games marginalize competition because what? They’re not physical?  Sorry, chess club! Your trophy means fuck-all. 

I’d never say hold it upgainst say, bare knuckle boxing or football, but anything you wish to do well requires skill and ability, GR. Gaming is no different. Great players have excellent reaction speeds, good abstract positioning skills, and tactical thinking both short term and long term.  I’d call that competetion.

9 The Good Reverend January 23, 2005 at 9:59 pm

Yes, and throwing the sliced pickles from your Big Mac against a window to see which one sticks the longest requires considering the weight of the pickle, surface area of the sticking surface, throwing velocity, and stickiness quotient of the condiments on the pickle (do I throw the side with the ketchup on it?  or the “special sauce”?).

It’s all “competition”, I suppose.

10 .alphamonkey. January 23, 2005 at 11:11 pm

I know you must look down on it, what with your Fight Club, bear wrestling, and oh…what’s that other one you do? Softball? That’s some serious fucking competition.

11 The Good Reverend January 24, 2005 at 11:43 am

hehe I will grant that I’ve played on work softball teams.  However, I have never tried to justify it as serious “competition”. 

My issue with all this is not that you all are playing video games.  I sometimes play videogames.  When Halo 2 came out, I played it quite frequently.  I was determined to “beat it”, as I had Halo 1.  And I even occasionally play the Live version.  However, I am not so delusional as to consider it real competition (I am loosely defining “real” as “of value” here).  I am running around with weapons blasting the hell out of 8-year-olds and stoners, some of whom are employing the “tactics” of cheatcodes.  Do videogames give you some hand-eye coordination and “long range” blah blah blah?  Yeah, probably.  But I think I just made a fairly decent case for throwing pickles against a wall – and that’s not f’ing “competition”.  Being as the brain is a sponge for new information, it probably learns a little from even the most mundane task it performs.

My volleyball that you panned takes intense physical training, teamwork, complete control over your body’s movements, teaching your eyes “court awareness” through use of peripheral vision, to mention just a few things.  It took me years of absolute dedication to be average in the professional ranks.  As for chess, I have the utmost respect for it as competition (I don’t have the narrow vision that only sports are “competition” as you would have liked to label me smile ).  Chess masters simply dumbfound me in their abstract reasoning and ability to construct complex matrices of possible future board layouts.

But videogames?  Come on – let’s call a duck a duck.

12 .alphamonkey. January 24, 2005 at 12:16 pm

I was willing to grant your point until you went on and on about your intense training for volleyball. We all know your idea of training is watching Top Gun over and over again in slow motion.

13 The Good Reverend January 24, 2005 at 1:28 pm

haha actually, you’re mistaken on the movie.  I watch “Sideout!” with C. Thomas Howell. smile

14 .alphamonkey. January 24, 2005 at 1:45 pm

Thats…that’s actually more pathetic.

15 The Good Reverend January 24, 2005 at 2:35 pm

oh, most definitely.  which is why i said it. smile

16 Cananopie January 23, 2005 at 7:20 pm

It is a form of competition. And it does take skill. It’s just way too addicting I think.

17 Jessica October 8, 2007 at 6:50 pm

Not, all woman are stupid and don’t understand what you’re saying. I love halo, i happen to be an addict myself. So you making stereotypes about woman like that would be like me saying that all men are egotistical jerks with no motivation or desire to commit… But of course, i would never do that! ;P

But other then that, nice site. HALO ROCKS MY SOCKS!!

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