I don’t mean a power blackout. I mean a full-on, no holds barred memory erasing blackout. Why? Because I just finished having my eyes sexually assualted by Resident Evil: Electric Bugaloo. (Okay, so it’s RE: Apocalypse, but don’t tell me you don’t think EB would be better.)
I’m not going to write up some long dissertation on why this movie sucked. It’s a movie based off a video game. Suckiness is not only unsuprising, it’s actually federally required. But that doesn’t explain my intense need for a blackout, does it? Nope. Let me sum up the movie with three words that best capture the entire experience of RE: Retardolypse:
No, no. Go back and read that line again.
Somebody pour me a shot or six.