Movie Reviews: The Greatest Art

by alphamonkey on January 12, 2005 · 1 comment

in Uncategorized

I love C.H.U.D. No, not the horrid 80’s movie about underground mutant freaks that crave our flesh, but the movie site that co-opted the name. I don’t always agree with their reviews, but I do love their completely unhinged reviews of the films I’m not going to pay money to see. Like say, Catwoman, a film that even a blind, deaf, and severely retarded person could tell you looked to be a complete crapfest drilled into your skull in Dolby Digital 5.1. 

Maybe it’s geared a little too much toward film nerds like me, but there’s something about a line like ”Somewhere, a Mr. Woo Ping punches his own face in bullet time.“ that makes me feel all warm inside.  Nick Nunziata and the rest of the CHUD crew, I salute you.

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    Hah, Catwoman RECIPE.

    Pick an ultra shitty name, like faith for her.

    Then make her wear skimpy outfits parousing around to hip hop while uppercutting the other guy in black.

    Crapfest? That’s a compliment to this boring ass shitload of grammycum.

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