That’s a lot of sample cups.

by alphamonkey on January 12, 2005 · 7 comments

in News,Sci-Tech

Police in Truno, Massachusetts are hoping to DNA test all 720 of the town’s adult male population in the hopes of solving a three year old murder case. Predictably, the ACLU is all over this one, while tissue giant Kleenex applauds the efforts. 

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1 professor dookie January 12, 2005 at 2:14 pm

Are you kidding me?  720 men in town couldn’t come up with one believable alibi?!  Here’s one for you, “yeah, I was next door screwing my neighbor’s cat, and you can check with Mr. Jingles to verify that.”

2 Souped_up_on_Jihad January 12, 2005 at 2:33 pm

Sounds like illeagal search and seizure without probable cause to me, but I’m one of those crazy “I have rights” people.

3 fealty2dahriyah January 12, 2005 at 5:12 pm

you’d think they could have thought of a slicker way, than “line up we’re having a dna test”. for fux sake do they not watch CSI.

4 Shadow Stalker January 12, 2005 at 5:33 pm

No kidding.  Just have a big party and get every guy to write his name on his cup, “so you don’t lose it.” Done.  Of course, you might learn more about your neighbors than you want to know when you find Mr. Sullivan’s DNA on Mr. Lawrence’s cup.

5 fealty2dahriyah January 12, 2005 at 6:03 pm

fuck just mail out a coupon or something and make them send back SASE. 95%+ will return w/ dna, fingerprints. fuck tell these morons that the royal family has tracked down a distant member who is a male member of that community and is to receive money and land.

who honestly thinks that the murderer is going to show up to a give DNA voluntarily. shit why not just ask people to try and reenact the murder.

6 Shadow Stalker January 12, 2005 at 9:10 pm

Maybe that’s the real trick.  Ask them to hold the lie-detecting chicken covered in soot.

7 fealty2dahriyah January 13, 2005 at 3:39 pm

whomever it lays the golden egg for is the murderer, and now has bail money.

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