The 50 most loathesome people of 2004

by alphamonkey on January 24, 2005 · 6 comments

in Uncategorized

Nothing says Monday like a little outrage, so here’s The Beast’s 50 Most Loathesome People of 2004

(from the article)

38. Toby Keith

Crimes: The worst kind of proud-to-be-brainwashed dolt, one who feels he should express himself. The fact that this ambulatory hamburger’s opinions were ever given public forum is an indictment of our entire civilization and all human history leading up to this point.

Smoking Gun: Plays country music.

Punishment: Impaled on improperly installed American flag attached to tractor-trailer, dragged for 12 hours, eaten by wolves.

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  • drgonzoguitar

    Amen!!  This list was due.  Thank you alphamonkey!

  • fealty2dahriyah

    this douchebag was in my home scene this weekend and a bunch of his fans who deserved to be donkey punched got all pissy when they came into my bar and it was too packed for them to spit chaw on the floor.

    doesn’t this guy have a meth habit to start?

  • Thundarr

    Great List!!

  • Davion

    Great list.  I love this one. 

    3. You

    Crimes: You gaze idly at the carnage around you, sigh, and go calmly back to your coffee and your People magazine. You can’t stop buying useless crap, though you’re drowning in a deepening pool of debt. You think you’re an activist because you bitch all day on the internet, but you reelect the same gangsters at a 99% rate. You consider yourself informed because you waste a significant portion of your life watching the same three news stories cycle over and over again on your gargantuan, aerodynamic television set while you eat processed food. You really thought everything would be okay if Kerry won. Not only do you believe in an invisible man who magically farted out the universe, you also excoriate and marginalize those who disagree. You have a poorer understanding of your country’s foreign policy history than a third world peasant, but you can’t wait to see what Julia Roberts will be wearing at the Oscars. You cheer as Ukrainians challenge an election based on exit poll data, but keep waiting around for someone else to fix your problems. You can’t think, you can’t organize and you won’t act. This is all your fault.

    Smoking Gun: You’re fat.

    Punishment: You’re soaking in it.

  • fealty2dahriyah

    how did amber fry not make that list?

  • drgonzoguitar

    Ok gunsmoke….you want to talk about the “liberal agenda”?  How many oxcotin-riddled Rush phrases can you quote?  It is miserable people like you who spout empty rhetoric while cheering for the stupid in the world, like Toby Keith and our president. 

    If you are so confident about your patriotism, join the Army.  I served and I am now a frequent visitor to the VA medical center.  Enjoy your freedom to be a dumbass gunsmoke.

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