February 2005

As most of you are aware, the United States is the only industrialized nation that truly understands the evil, sinful nature of boobies.  Thankfully we have the FCC to protect us from those dirty chest bumps.  But the rest of the world?  They are bombarded with mammary images in their papers, billboards, and most insiduous of all, their television commercials.  Here’s a set of commericals that use jiggling fun bags to arouse and titilate unsuspecting viewers into careless consumer choices that will lead you down the twin slippery soapy slopes of degredation and shame. First Up: Choco Party. This commercial makes the GoDaddy Super Bowl ad look like an an exercise in tasteful restraint.  Girl in bikini jumps up and down to sell chocolate.  Subtle, eh?

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Every Calvin and Hobbs Cartoon, EVER

by Souped_up_on_Jihad on February 28, 2005 · 3 comments

in Uncategorized

I’ll keep this post simple. I love Calvin and Hobbs, as many people love Calvin and Hobbs.  Some people don’t like Calvin and Hobbes, but those same people are often violent serial killers who like to hit people on the head with a hammer. 

For the rest of us, here’s an archive of every Calvin and Hobbs comic Bill Waterson was nice enough to create for us. Ahhh, how I miss this cartoon.

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I don’t like to post stories about the ridiculous things we do to public school students as they tend to severely depress me, but I can’t resist highlighting this story about a Clark County, Kentucky student who was arrested for ‘making terrorist threats’.

His threat?  Well, he wrote a short story about zombies.  Yah.  Zombies.  At a high school.  And they arrested him.

“My story is based on fiction,” said Poole, who faces a second-degree felony terrorist threatening charge. “It’s a fake story. I made it up. I’ve been working on one of my short stories, (and) the short story they found was about zombies. Yes, it did say a high school. It was about a high school over ran by zombies.”

According to student (William Poole), his grandparents read the story in his journal and turned him in to the police.  Thank goodness a judge raised his bail from one to five thousand dollars (due to the ‘seriousness of the charge&#8217wink otherwise who knows how many kids will turn to voodoo and necomancy to punish their unbelieving townspeople? 

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There aren’t too many things more annoying than spam.  AIDS is one of ‘em.  So how cool is that Microsoft is teaming up with biomed researchers to employ spam filters in the search for a vaccine.

Many are already balking at such a vaccine, however.  Who wants to get an AIDS vaccine, only to have to return to the hospital every couple weeks for security patches? 

“Microsoft has found a critical flaw in HIV Retroviral version 5.5 which could cause an attacker to gain complete control of your immune system and shut down kidney function.  You may asked to sleep for 10 hours after injection”

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Name That Monkey!

by The Good Reverend on February 25, 2005 · 3 comments

in News

No, Alphamonkey is not trying to change his identity.  If you have several thousand dollars sitting around and either a penchant for self-aggrandizement or a sense of humour that you think simply must make it into the animal taxonomy books, you can name your very own new species of monkeyAwwww… aren’t they cute?

The Wildlife Conservation Society has found a new species of monkey in Bolivia’s Madidi National Park and are relinquishing naming rights to the highest bidder.  So what would you name it?  I can’t decide between the:

Shockda Monkey… “What kind of monkey did I just buy?” “Don’t you know you got a Shockda Monkey! (a hey-hey)”

Muhmuhmuh Monkey… (so everyone will sound like they have a stuh-stuh-stuh-stutter)

Soontobeextinct Monkey… which will cause awkward silences when talked about after it actually has been rendered extinct

Insano-venomous Man-eating Monkey… perhaps we can give the poachers pause and prevent said extinction?

Levitating Talking Monkey… give the zoo field trip kids a healthy dose of anticipointment.

Any others?  Hell, maybe we could have a vote here at Transbuddha, then pool our money together!  Yeah!

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It’s very rare that I come across a something so very funny and very true.  This document lays out the exact source of all of mankind’s problems.  Step inside the Monkeysphere, folks.  You’ll learn something in between the chuckles.

There are so many great quotes from this article, but I’m going to have to go with one that is the most calculated to make little digs at other Transbuddhists:

As long as everybody gets their own bananas and shares with the few in their Monkeysphere, the system will thrive even though nobody is even trying to make the system thrive. This is perhaps how Ayn Rand would have put it, had she not been such a hateful bitch.

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Uh huh-HUH!

by The Good Reverend on February 25, 2005

in Audio Visual

He was and is The King.  Even in his damn soundchecks he resonates “I am the King”.

This is very obviously not the newest vid on the web, so perhaps everyone has seen this except me.  Regardless, I had to post this – this video simply must be in the Transbuddha archives.  Elvis must be “in the building”!  It just has Cool Points written all over it in my book.  I had always thought that the “uh huh-huh”s, though Presley trademarks, were meaningless song fillers.  But no!  They were meticulously soundchecked!

And only Elvis could make the phrase, “Gimme the boing boing boing again, man”, sound cool.  I have a feeling that I’m going to be interjecting that phrase in work meetings for the next week at least:  “and as we look at this next slide we see that generated revenue for the month of… actually, let’s go back one slide… gimme the boing boing boing again, man.”

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Ukulele Books

by mrcookieface on February 25, 2005

in Miscellany

Quite clever!

I found myself sucked into all the work and materials involved.  Some of them are quite practical, actually.

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Boy Cat!

by alphamonkey on February 25, 2005

in Audio Visual,Diversions

Screenhead hipped me to the following flash short from the Spanish language site, Sonkia.  Do your self a favor and take a look at one of the prettiest flash menus you’ll ever see.  Really gorgeous stuff.

Clicky Clicky gets you Vid Vid. 

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by alphamonkey on February 24, 2005

in Audio Visual,Diversions

I am so addicted to this game.  I love tank games, regardless of size, shape, or color.  It’s good for single or multiplayer, so gather round the monitor’s warm glow and blow some crap up.


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