Admit it. Deep down, we all just want to break things. Unfortunately, grant comittees don’t understand, so physicists have to invent elaborate explanations to justify spending two billion dollars on a machine that, essentially, breaks tiny things into even tinier things.
That’s why when Alpha showed me this satire of a BBC high energy physics report, I had to wonder. It certainly sounds ridiculous enough to be high energy physics:
“AMD needs to collect a sample of several hundred collisions out of 40 million. And we have just three microseconds to decide whether a collision produced something interesting.”
But alas, there is no Black Mesa particle accelerator. The Swiss may still beat us in the search for the elusive Kleiner particle.