I hope that bag of Cheetos is worth it.

by alphamonkey on March 23, 2005 · 9 comments

in Uncategorized

Longevity researchers at the University of Illinois have released a report that predicts that ”today’s younger generation will have shorter and less healthy lives than their parents for the first time in modern history unless we intervene“.

“But we’ve all this modern technology!”, you say?  Guess what? It’s no match for the steady rising rates of obesity in today’s America.  Hey, at least this will make the whole Social Security solvency thing moot.  So crack a bag, man-boobs.  A couple more Suzy-Q’s and two fistfuls of pork-rinds might just be the daily regiment needed to stave off our crushing federal deficit.

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  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/shadwstalkr Shadow Stalker

    Did you scan that picture off the back of your Sweatin’ to the Oldies box set?

  • http://www.dadsbigplan.com .alphamonkey.

    No, I just took it out of Davion’s “Special Memories” scrapbook

  • fealty2dahriyah

    I wonder when the TruffleShuffle generation will climax.

  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/shadwstalkr Shadow Stalker

    When the buffet at Shoney’s opens.

  • The Scarlet Harlot

    That’s right, most stereo types make the assumption that fat people enjoy being fat. They sit around stuffing their face trying to come up with every fat eating technique they can. In reality, most obese people hate the way they are or look and wish to change. Sometimes it’s not as easy as just setting down the bag of chips and turning of the TV, then getting up off of your ass. It comes down to mental strength and self confidence. I say be the size you’re ment to be, but be healthy. Be comfortable in your own skin first and then the rest will follow suite. Support your local fatties and be kind, it can only help.

  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/shadwstalkr Shadow Stalker

    Fat eating technique, that’s classic.

  • http://www.dadsbigplan.com .alphamonkey.

    Way to lower the comedy tone, Scarlet.

    I think it’s a terrible shame that obesity has become such a horrendous health problem in our country.  Our culture of excess certainly doesn’t help matters, that’s for sure.  Combine the ever growing need to consume with our increasingly non-physical lifestyles and there’s no other way for these suceeding generations to turn out.

    I’m a big advocate of personal responsibility, so I can’t discount that aspect completely, but I do concede that outside factors make weight loss increasingly difficult.

    Hmm..this is getting too serious.  I’ll need to quickly make fun of someone who isn’t me to balance.

  • fealty2dahriyah

    holy crap a woman preaching my lore… enjoy your fat ass people. someone may love you sometime and if not pop another box of ho-ho’s.

    everyone’s little tick… whether it be eating, computers, drugs, women… blahdeefuckindah has it’s up’s and downs. we are a little bit closer to the bi-polar phenomena than we would like to believe. and it is our duty to shamelessly remind other people that their “tick” is way more messed up than our own.

  • The Scarlet Harlot

    *stepping off of soap box…shuffling to the side* and lift and 2 and right and 2 and lift and 3 and right and 3…now up and down…come you can do it…one more time and up and down…feel the burn cheese

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