Longevity researchers at the University of Illinois have released a report that predicts that ”today’s younger generation will have shorter and less healthy lives than their parents for the first time in modern history unless we intervene“.
“But we’ve all this modern technology!”, you say? Guess what? It’s no match for the steady rising rates of obesity in today’s America. Hey, at least this will make the whole Social Security solvency thing moot. So crack a bag, man-boobs. A couple more Suzy-Q’s and two fistfuls of pork-rinds might just be the daily regiment needed to stave off our crushing federal deficit.