(as an added bonus, non-believers will get the chance to look up a lot of skirts) I’m fascinated by the cults that align themselves with the Rapture. (Yes, Left Behind readers count.) For those of you unaware, the Rapture is the event in which the J-man is supposed to come down and bring all of his faithful followers to the Big Buffet in the sky, leaving unbelievers to wander the earth with a little more bounce in their step and a smile on their face.
Finally NC-17 films will show in major theaters! American television will be less sugary and will show boobies! Gays and lesbians will marry, and the resulting cash flow will reinvigorate our economy making America truly the most prosperous nation in history! As an added bonus, we’ll get to poke fun at people who thought they’d be taken up, but then found out that Jesus (like most of us) has a low tolerance for self-righteous assholes.
For some odd reason, the byways of the Intraweb are just chock full of Rapture goodness. Considering the internet makes Sodom look like DollyWood, I find this highly hilarious. From Rapture Ready, a site designed to guide you to bliss using the bible’s very simple and never misinterpreted language, to Rapture Letters, where you can send your unbelieving friends a post-Rapture ‘nyah-nyah’ and explain why you didn’t show up for the carpool that morning. Yes, our beloved internet is fast becoming the online equivalant of the Heaven’s Gate cult, but without the cool shoes and with a lot more bukkake.