Battle Royale: 5 Year Old Style

by alphamonkey on April 15, 2005 · 0 comments

in Uncategorized

I partook in a similar discussion over on Plastic, but this guy’s interpretation takes the cake. 

Here’s the question: How many five year olds can you take on at once?

Here’s the rules:

1. You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.

2. You are not allowed to touch a wall.

3. When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is “out.”

4. Someone intent on seeing you fail gets to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.

5. The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of “counter-tactics” training.

6. There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.

7. The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down

Obviously this is dark, black humor and a hearty dose of parody.  If you’re feeling easily offended, just skip the link and our forum discussion.

Otherwise, join in the discussion and definately follow the link

  • Reddit
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Digg
  • LinkedIn
  • RSS
  • StumbleUpon
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Posterous
  • Tumblr

Previous post:

Next post: