Cumming – The Fragrance

by alphamonkey on July 29, 2005 · 25 comments

in Uncategorized

Actor/Director/Novelist Alan Cumming debuted his own cologne, called (appropriately enough) “Cumming”. While I typically enjoy his film work, his commercial for the fragrance is absolutely (and unintentionally) hysterical.

Now I don’t begrudge an actor their moments of pretension (after all, what actor/actress doesn’t have them?), but c’mon!  This spot makes those old Calvin Klein fragrance ads look like a Sunny D commercial in terms of over-the-topness (and bare bottomness). 

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  • fealty2dahriyah

    what’s that… that smell… it’s… it’s… oh a washed up career.

    damn taht was funny…but why do celebrities think that if htey tack their name on something that we’ll buy it… oh wwait, we will.

    damn you beautiful people

  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/shadwstalkr Shadow Stalker

    That wasn’t supposed to be funny?  I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.

  • fealty2dahriyah

    sorry reality is not always as funny as it seems. and it does reek of a washed up career. even though I find him entertaining.

    I just think the trend of diversifieing your career, like your portfolio is annoying. rappers making liquor… you might as well be redman making bowl sanitiziers(g~d bless you dave chapelle)…. so I guess it’s more poignant than ha-ha. would you prefer something roughly equating to the smell of nightcraler ass? or maybe a freak german monk who never baths? maybe gazoo?

  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/shadwstalkr Shadow Stalker

    I don’t mean the fragrance, I mean the ad.  It’s just so hammy I can’t believe he didn’t once stop and think, “Gee, this is kind of silly.”

  • rodan77

    I love this, holy shit it’s fucking great!!, he rocks too

  • http://www.ShakeWellBeforeUse.com ariel

    now only if i could make him straight for a day… hmmmmm… rasberry

  • http://www.dadsbigplan.com .alphamonkey.

    He is bi, ya know.  (Married what? twice now?)

  • http://www.ShakeWellBeforeUse.com ariel

    oh, i thought he was all-the-way… i guess i’ll try and take him home with me then wink

  • BudnHC

    Uh, Alan Cumming is a Gay Man.

    Now that that is cleared up. Alan’s commercial for his cologne, “Cumming” is what is know as Satire, which is an intelligent form of comedy referred to as Spoof.

    Anyone who take one second of Alan’s commerical seriously, need to stick to buying CK cologne.

    Also, Mr Cummings is an extremely employed actor who will be opening on Broadway this September in “Three Penny Opera”.

  • fealty2dahriyah

    3 snaps and your caught…. I think we just found alan’s boyfriend.

  • http://www.dadsbigplan.com .alphamonkey.

    Hmm..he was married for nigh on 8 years, dated Saffron Burrows as recently as 97, and has stated numerous times in print that he was bisexual.  Now, maybe he’s just REALLY indecisive, but that’s based off of his own words.

    Sorry, I don’t buy the idea that the ad was meant as pure satire.

  • Big Perm

    There’s no way that’s real, unless…he’s setting the stage for his next scent: nightcrawler, which takes you from man to a germanic speaking pussy.  Wait, what’s the difference here, other than accent?

  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/shadwstalkr Shadow Stalker

    He was a Germanic pussy in Cabaret too.  Maybe he’s being typecast.

  • fullmetal

    Uhhh… He named the cologne, “cumming…” I wonder who named it that… I think there might be a tie-in with some unnamed people on this earth. If you ask me, I don’t know, but there wil be some people who… who… uhhh… I don’t know quite what I was getting too. But there… Ah, I’ll just shut up

  • fullmetal

    Okay, new point… uhh… don’t ask what the ingredients are? (Man, I suck…)

  • http://www.ShakeWellBeforeUse.com ariel

    fullmetal wrote “(Man, I suck…)”

    There’s a dirty joke in there that I’m just going to leave alone.

  • fullmetal

    thank you ariel, there are enough people laughing at me alrready

  • SonSon2

    I don’t think I’ve ever heard the term “extremely employed” before.

    Meeting at 2? I’m sorry, I’m extremely employed right now.

  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/shadwstalkr Shadow Stalker

    You have to write it with a capital X, like this: I’m eXtremely employed, TO THE MAX!!

    The phrase is typically reserved for people that professionally snowboard on razor blades over man-eating sharks that have surface-to-air missile launchers on their dorsal fins.  And eXtreme athletes that aren’t as totally lame as that.

  • http://www.ShakeWellBeforeUse.com ariel

    uh.. eXtreme is *so* 5 years ago. it’s fucking XTREME now. XTR3M3 if you’re some l33t IT employee.

  • http://www.dadsbigplan.com .alphamonkey.

    l33t is so ‘04.

  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/shadwstalkr Shadow Stalker

    Thanks for the 411.  I run about ten years behind in slang and styles, so this is actually an improvement for me.  It’s because I’ve been reading so many late nineties W3C recs.

  • http://www.ocremix.org/remixer/dhsu/ Dhsu

    It’s an actual fragrance, yes, but the commercial is still meant to be funny.  He appeared on The Daily Show and mentioned his up-Cumming (haha…sorry, won’t happen again) line of products, which include “Cumming All Over” (lotion), “Cumming Clean” (soap), and “Cumming of Age” (no idea what that is).

    No, I didn’t make those up.  You can see for yourself.

  • redkillmachine

    That was just gross. And it managed to make me feel extremely uncomfortable. Eww.

  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/shadwstalkr Shadow Stalker

    I don’t like cologne either.

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