Lipton Reads Federline

by alphamonkey on January 27, 2006 · 43 comments

in Uncategorized

The idea that Kevin Federline is releasing an album is enough to make us long for a follow up to Bruce Willis’ ‘the Return of Bruno’.  But let’s give it a fair shot. After all, anything sounds classy when James Lipton reads it.

I sense a new segment on Inside the Actor’s Studio

  • Reddit
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • LinkedIn
  • RSS
  • StumbleUpon
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Posterous
  • Tumblr
  • fealty2dahriyah

    I knew there had to be another perk, of this cd coming out, other than this leading to assasination of federline.

  • meep-meep

    This is the dumbest idea and thing I’ve seen in at least a week probably a month. James Lipton is a joke. Why Conan? Why?

  • http://www.dadsbigplan.com .alphamonkey.

    Because James Lipton is a joke.  Who better to have read another joke’s work?

  • lnath

    Yup.  If someone like James Lipton is making fun of you, it might be time to rethink your life.

  • purifi

    It dosnt matter if it James Lipton or not,its the manner of which the actual lyrics of this poor persons song was read that contributes to its hilarity. And if you didnt find this little skit on Conan funny, then you are probably one of kevin federlines few fans.

  • http://www.dadsbigplan.com .alphamonkey.

    Wow.  Strong statement.

  • fealty2dahriyah

    didn’t realize ferderline or lipton could draw this much energy from people.

  • Boss Robot

    That was some great speaking right there. It obviously shows how horribly bad the lyrics are, thus the reason why it’s so funny. It wouldn’t be so hilarious if he read a more serious musician’s lyrics instead.

    This was funny! I’mma watch it again!

  • fealty2dahriyah

    serious musician? like who… eddie vedder… carlie simon… geddy lee…

    comedy is usually based on irony… so any of these serious people read by a retard would possibly be humorous. I know the current trend for comedy is utterly stupid things that are so asinine that they are funny… but these things will pass.

  • purifi

    I think your confused about the manner of the skit. You may consider it ironic because of your biased opinion of James Lipton, which isnt necessary. And watch using the term “retard” because it is very offensive. James Lipton is far from a “retard” and probably considers your salary pocket change. I think the only that will pass, hopefully, is your own stupidity. Dont question Conan.

  • http://www.dadsbigplan.com .alphamonkey.

    I wasn’t aware Conan had a cult.  Note to self.

  • purifi

    Yes, we are the Conanians. We fear ignorance and lack of cognition.

  • http://www.dadsbigplan.com .alphamonkey.

    Does membership come with a track suit?

  • labrazio

    Dude, you’re a retard.

  • purifi

    Such a thoughtful statement. Did you think of that on your own? Or just take it from my context in order to try to offend me because you have nothing better to say.  cheese

  • labrazio

    Facts need merely to be stated, not necessarily thought about (unless you’re trying to solve a murder or something). I was just making a keen observation.

  • purifi

    But your statement is far from factual. You claim it is a fact because of your own callowness and impudency. Also I dont think you do very much thinking at all about anything, so forget about necessary thought or your so called “keen” observation.

  • labrazio

    Look, Corky, you need to go clean your room or you won’t be getting any Jello after supper tonight.

  • purifi

    lol whats a corky?  and I dont like jello… LOL

  • labrazio

    Well good, that means more Jello for the rest of us.

  • purifi

    You mean you and your imaginary buddy?

  • http://www.dadsbigplan.com .alphamonkey.

    It’s official:  this is the Lamest Flamewar Ever.  Congrats, guys.

  • http://www.allamericanplayboys.com noochienoochie

    Whatever, poop face.

  • http://www.dadsbigplan.com .alphamonkey.

    Up your nose with a rubber hose.

  • labrazio

    I would like to thank the judges, my agent, and James Lipton for the dubious honor of being selected as part of the Lamest Flamewar ever- none of which would have been possible without the participation of purifi, who showed us all that he can achieve, despite the Downs Syndrome and the abundance of sand in the vagina. Thank you and God bless.

  • purifi

    How quaintly tasteful. Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity.

  • labrazio

    Nobody asked for an encore performance, jackass.

  • purifi

    Refer to previous post

  • Boss Robot

    Ahh! My first flamewar! Damn, it was lame!

    That’s what Kevin calls a “Brazillian Booty Shaker”

  • labrazio

    This was no flamewar…the inferiority of my opponent just made this one really lame ad hominem arguement.

  • purifi

    argUment…but you spelled ad hominem right.  grin Im surprised that somebody of your mental capacity can at least spell some latin correctly. And you sound stupid saying that this argument was ad hominem because your the one who actually committed the logical fallacy.

  • labrazio

    Jesus, this may never end…the black hole of Lame. Look, jackass, before you start telling me how to spell, go back over your own previous posts and count the typos…Done yet? Great. Now let’s ask ourselves, Who Gives a Shit? Who are you to tell anyone what terms they can use- whether you find them offensive or not? Don’t like the term “retard”? Well then don’t use it. I see no logical fallacy committed on my part due to the fact that I truly believe you to be a “retard”,and therefore, with no facts presented to dispute my findings, I must stick to this conclusion. So,yes, for the record- Flamewar? Not quite.My lame ad hominem argUment with a whiny “retard” jackass? Indeed.

  • purifi

    I like how you quote yourself. And the only thing that has made my retarded was reading that sad excuse of a paragraph. Im guessing your next post is going to be something like this: 

    omgwtf!  u our da retard jakass

  • labrazio

    Gosh…for someone so prissy about English technique, you sure don’t know much. Being as “retard” was the term in question, it gets quotation marks. Let me quote you now on some of your nonsensical bullshit…*ahem*…”And the only thing that has made my retarded was…”. What the hell does that mean? Thanks for proving my point,ass.

  • purifi

    Im sure my point came across. haha

  • purifi

    And what was your point in the first place?

  • purifi

    Oh and good job using ass instead of jackass, very creative.

  • Boss Robot

    you should focus your comments on a newer clip. Let this one die already. The e-mails keep pouring and I like it to stop, well just for this clip anyways.

  • http://www.dadsbigplan.com .alphamonkey.

    Your wish is hereby granted.

  • labrazio

    So it is written. So it shall be done. My apologies to all you non-jackasses out there.

  • purifi

    My apologies to everybody who has achieved higher than a 2nd grade education.

  • labrazio

    I’m trying to see things from your perspective, but I can’t seem to get my head up my ass as far as you can.

  • http://www.dadsbigplan.com .alphamonkey.

    I think everyone needs to sit down and enjoy a nice, sweaty glass of shut-the-hell-up-and-get-over-it.

Previous post:

Next post: