As you, my pop-culture savvy internet friends, already know, tomorrow is Talk Like a Pirate Day in which you’re encouraged to well… You don’t really need me to spell that out, do you? Anyway, it seems ABC (otherwise known as ‘We Can’t Be Bothered To Make a TV Movie About Stuff That Actually Happened and You Know, Do Our Research’ Network), decided that the season premiere of
Emotional Dysfunction Porn Wife Swap needed to be with a Pirate Wench, and they went with none other than Tori Baur, the wife of the man who kickstarted Talk Like a Pirate Day. As tempting as it may be to watch a sassy wench take on a plastic family, I’d still rather jab burning cigarettes into my eyes than watch Wife Swap, but it’s still kinda interesting in a ‘wha?’ kind of way.
So to sum up: Tomorrow: Talk Like a Pirate Day, and ABC, though capable of the occasional moment of clever, still sucks.
And remember, folks: Only you can determine the answer to the age old question: Pirates or Ninjas? Me, I know the answer. To prove it, I think I’ll dress up like Storm Shadow and burn down a Captain D’s.