The Return of the Douche

by alphamonkey on December 13, 2006 · 0 comments

in Uncategorized

The Creative Department douche, that is.  transitionalblueblood’s skewering take on the hipster scourge of our nation’s marketing companies continues to tickle my (admittedly mean) funnybone.  Take a gander, as there oodles of funny therein. 

If you’re in feeling particularly anti-marketing today, you might enjoy my open letter to viral marketers, which is currently residing over at Dragon Head Almost Destroyed Me.  Here’s a taste:

“But, oh no”, you say, “our clever teaser campaign needs secrecy to build anticipation!”.  I got news for you, chump:  No it doesn’t.  On the off chance your viral can live up to even .01% of the hype you think you’ve garnered for it, people don’t like being tricked.  The first response your audience will have upon realizing that the enigmatic billboards, teaser sites, and WOM stuff is for nothing more exciting than gunk you spread on your armpit is a collective:  Well, that sucks.  It’d be like finding out Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory was just 1000 undocumented illegals running production line machinery that used nothing more than milk, cocoa, and sugar.  Letdown doesn’t even begin to cover it.  Blowback, baby.  It’s all about blowback.

Now you may have reams and reams of polling data that says otherwise, but let me kill yet another marketing chestnut:  You’re basing multimillion dollar decisions off the input of people too stupid to get out of completing a market survey.  Well done, Madison Avenue!  You’ve handed your financial success over to the same couple that fills out complaint cards at Wendy’s when the chili is four degrees too cold!  And you wonder why we don’t respect you….

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