And this is why you don't piss off gamers

by alphamonkey on January 28, 2008 · 48 comments

in Uncategorized

Cooper LawrenceLet’s face it: Gamers are a bad crowd to piss off. Sure, it’s not like you’d be in physical danger, but c’mon. Gamers are quick to anger, fiercely protective of their pastime, vindictive, and have an inordinate amount of free time on their hands. Need proof?

Pop-psych author Cooper Lawrence (whom we all learned to love for her laughably ignorant statements regarding Mass Effect) found the Amazon ranking for her book, “The Cult of Perfection: Making Peace With Your Inner Overachiever” demolished by hundreds of user-reviews (412 of the book’s 472 total reviews were 1 star), most of which were none to shy about the concept of slamming a book without having read it. You know, like ya do.

Lawrence has since apologized for her remarks (placing the blame squarely on an unnamed ‘someone’ and not the more personal moral failing of moralizing over and condemn something with which she was wholly unfamiliar with. But hey, she agreed to appear on Fox, so we’ll just have to assume a grander than normal sense of moral flexibility.

Really now… In her own words: “Before the show I had asked somebody about what they had heard, and they had said it’s like pornography.” Maybe it’s this that separates me from those mysterious beings who become pundit show experts, but I believe I’d find myself a little more than hesitant to appear on a nationally broadcast quasi-debate segment with nothing more than that vaguely worded nugget of knowledge in my hip pocket.

So kudos to you, angry gamers, for your defense of our pastime and for your blow against dumbassery.

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  • bunky

    I think you mean pastime, not ‘past time’. Get your vocabulary straight before you defend gamers. You make us look like retards.

  • Shigeru

    Ah, if only Jack Thompson could come to grips with how poorly-informed he is and offer a public retraction for…well, everything, like she did.

  • http://no Digital

    Kind of lets you know how much effort goes into fox’s reporting. Explains why they are the laughing stock of news.

  • Krazy

    I don’t understand these people..

    There are mods for Oblivion and other games where makes the models nude too.

    Plus pornography is everywhere on ad’s on sites and in one point of someones life there going to see it.

    “Ohh, but what about the kids”
    – What about them? Let them see they’ll know sooner or later.

  • .alphamonkey.

    Re: Bunky

    Technically that was a spelling error, not a vocabulary error. Thanks for staying on top of that 2 month old error, though!

  • Sean

    RE: Bunky

    “I think you mean pastime, not ‘past time’. Get your vocabulary straight before you defend gamers. You make us look like retards.”

    Is projecting an anal, angry and obsessive compulsive disorder traits a better front?

    Good job retard, you nailed it.

  • Saint Nightwalker

    So according to you Cooper Lawrence has “a personal moral failing of moralizing over and condemn something with which she was totally unfamiliar.

    Yet you applaud and even encourage the spazz dorkoids who played character assassination with her book and did the exact same thing she did.

    You are vile gutter scum and a hypocrite of the highest and worst order.

    I prey that you are assaulted on the street with baseball bats and left brain-damaged to the point that you have a to wear a diaper for the rest of your years.

  • .alphamonkey.

    Yes, because their actions are completely and utterly equal in every respect. Oh wait! Were the actions of the reviewers a means of protest that prompted Lawrence to publicly retract her statements and apologize? They sure were. And while I find it rather sad that some gamers are still trying to perpetuate the fake reviews (most of which have been deleted by Amazon), I still hold that the incident showcases how beautifully a community can use the internet to voice protest in a manner that was unfathomable 10 years ago.

    I’m fully aware (and weary) of your stylistic choice of purposely propping up disingenuous interpretations of my views for the sake of creating an opening for personal attacks, but seriously… What do you hope to accomplish here? So far all you’ve managed to do is highlight your own failings while making yourself look like that loudmouth at the party everyone wishes would just pass out already. You could at least make the effort to make your troll comments entertaining (rather than the current effect of ‘how sad for that pathetic little hate filled man).

  • Dr Dmo

    Ooh don’t piss off the gamers or they will like totally annihilate you..err in a game somewhere..umm if they know your screen name..uhh if you play games that is, otherwise you’re like pretty safe I guess.

  • Saint Nightwalker

    So you don’t think that the spazz dorkoids behavior and Lawrence’s had anything in common. Typical. If anything, the spazz dorkoids behavior was worse because they posted their shitheaded comments being fully aware that not only had none of them read the book, none of them ever would ever read it let alone set put their actual paws on a copy.

    And as for you bleating about my being the loudmouth at the party whom everyone wishes would pass out, unlike you who clearly is an angry and violent drunk, I don’t drink alcohol and haven’t for over 12 years.

  • .alphamonkey.

    Point, thou art proven.

  • RazorFine

    *Wondering to myself if SN is being purposefully ironic or if he’s missed the obvious.

  • christian DEWD

    i mean yea… of course i play a couple of games ONCE IN A WHILE.
    but SHIT get a life all you fuckin nerds…

  • .alphamonkey.

    That’s um…mighty Christian of you, guy.

  • BAD

    LOL. I guess it was only a matter of time for the tweenie angst ridden puberty ravaged kiddies from other comment sections to find TB.

    Go ahead kids yell it to the roof tops. We know you’re full of shit already, so no worries about us getting upset.

  • Dr. Freeman

    RE: Bunky.

    Bunky, no, YOU are the retard. He meant ‘pastime’ or, in other words, ‘hobby’. Dumb ass (yes, I did call you a stupid donkey).

  • .alphamonkey.


  • elmer pudd

    That has to be one of the wort articles i have ever had the displeasure to read. Way to murder the English language buddy. For the sake of the gaming community I hope not all gamers are as intelligent as this journalistic Forrest Gump.

  • .alphamonkey.

    What is an English language buddy? Is that like Teddy Ruxpin?

    Or did you mean ‘Way to murder the English language, buddy.’?

    I’m just sayin…

    And what’s a ‘wort’?

  • dumasymptote

    Come on. Why is everyone so pissed off about a few misspelled words or improper grammar. It is an internet article. If you had a life you wouldn’t be cruising the internet looking to bag on someone who uses the english language improperly. I guess you do provide good entertainment for everyone else though, so thanks!
    -your friendly math nerd

  • .alphamonkey.

    Now I just want to fill a post with badly done equations.

  • elkciN

    I am filled with INTERNET RAGE.

    Mass Effect was overrated, anyway.

  • xChurch

    It might just be me, but as I recall, that game is rated M. This means that you have to be at least 18 to buy it, so either the you know what you’re buying for yourself, or parents need to do a little research before buying games for their kids.

  • elkciN

    Bah, I think this particular reporters knowledge isn’t really the crux of the argument. At this point, anyone with a brain understands that Fox News has long since become a parody of itself.

    My main issue is the whole “BOOBIES IS THE DEVIL” attitude we have in culture. Despite all of the heartless choices one could make in a game like this, and the high body count, the big problem people have with it is a well-developed (for a videogame) romance subplot, which culminates in a love scene that could be shown on basic cable. It’s a tired argument, I know, but I think I’d much rather have my son or daughter see a scene such as that in Mass Effect than watch some bloody action movie, like Rambo.

    Well, I’d probably make them watch Rambo anyway, just for the important life lessons. Always be prepared, that’s what I say.

    Oh, and also, Mass Effect is still overrated. Just throwing that out there again.

  • elkciN

    Oh, and I meant author there.

    It’s not really much of a difference.

  • Just Plain Bob

    For the record, Alpha, brain damage aside, I think you’d look great in a diaper.

  • Eschington

    You guys really need to lay off on the author’s spelling. dumasymptote said it right in describing you people. Freaking grammar Nazis. If you read your local paper at all, there’s no way that you can tell me that there are zero grammatical errors in it. Yet do you write your local paper pointing out every flaw? Didn’t think so… Hell, I’m sure that I’ve screwed something up in this comment but it got the same freaking point across didn’t it?
    As to SN’s comments: You are an idiot.
    christian DEWD: You might point and laugh now, but just you wait until the world has been utterly and totally infested with zombies and the last hope for the world isn’t with douche bags like you, the saviors will be your friendly, neighborhood nerd. Oh, and you said something along the lines of “F*CK VIDEO GAMERS”, and then admitted to playing the occasional video game. Look up the word gamer, I dare you. But I know you’re too lazy to get off your fat ass, so I’ll give you the definition, pulled right from a dictionary: “Gamer – a person who plays games.”. ‘Nuff said…

  • Just Plain Bob

    just cuz the guy’s username has ‘christian’ in it doesn’t mean he speaks for christians. just sayin’.

  • Eschington


  • Saint Nightwalker

    So, many of you, including resident mega ‘tard alphamonkey fall into the “two wrongs DO make a right” catagory.

    That should surprise me, but since you’re all self-centered GenX/GenY ‘tards, sadly it does not.

  • BAD

    What? I can’t understand what your writing through your stupidity. Try again.

  • Saint Nightwalker

    No, you have it ass-backawards as usual. your ‘tard stupidity means you are unable to comprehend my concise, clear and easy to understand post.

  • .alphamonkey.

    It’s only ‘concise, clear, and easy to understand’ if you’re already starting out from the lead flakes for breakfast world that spawned your complete and utter inability to discern context, Ben.

    The rest of us (re: the population of Earth) see your jibber jabber for what it really is.

  • BAD

    LOL, lead flakes.

  • Andrew DeGolyer

    I still remember the dancing strippers in Duke Nukem. My friends and I would giggle when we got to that part…..

  • Andrew DeGolyer

    Not that that had anything to do with anything. I’m just sayin……it made me giggle.

    But seriously, SNW, ‘tards are people too….. People with dreams, and hopes, and helmets……

    still makes me laugh…

  • Just Plain Bob

    I just re-read all this and realized,
    it’s clear he’s just a flamer with nothing better to do.
    why are we even bothering?

  • .alphamonkey.

    Personally, I bother because Ben is in fact atrociously bad at trolling, and I quite enjoy pointing that out again and again.

  • Just Plain Bob


  • Overdrive

    RE BAD: “What? I can?t understand what your writing through your stupidity. Try again.”

    You’re = You are
    Your = possessive (as in, your grammar is fucking terrible)

    So, maybe *you* should be the one trying again…

  • .alphamonkey.

    I’d say forgive a grammar error before a logic error.

  • Just Plain Bob

    It’s harder via internet… youngins can have some good ideas, now and then, and you can’t tell if it’s a smart kid who hasn’t learned grammar, or a stupid adult.

    …my favorite is reading notes left on walls at college (in the vein of the passive-aggressive notes site) and seeing how fabulously college students can spell. And it isn’t as if they missed a typo and hit Post too soon. they wrote this stuff down, and took the time to affix it to a wall.
    I’m sorry, but as salient as your point may be, if you can’t spell by the time you’re 20, stfu. Kthx.

  • BAD

    “RE BAD: “What? I can?t understand what your writing through your stupidity. Try again.”

    You’re = You are
    Your = possessive (as in, your grammar is fucking terrible)

    So, maybe *you* should be the one trying again…”

    hmmmm… can?t?

    I would take your advice if you actually could copy and paste a quote correctly. You lose.

  • .alphamonkey.

    Hahah, I was wondering how long it would take someone to point that one out.

  • fl1ntlock

    I hate it when you guys fight Im running away!

    can you find the errors?

  • Chef Bryan

    “I hate it when you guys fight Im running away!

    can you find the errors?”

    Period after guys. Apostrophe in Im. Running away should be sucking that dick. Capitalize c in last line. Any others I missed?

  • MathijsBuster

    This whole discussion is painful to read.
    And that’s not because of the spelling errors.

  • ThyGuyX

    lol, this can easily be resolved by banning the opposing after they post. Instant win. They stfu forver and we can read non douche comments.

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