While the media is awash with ‘how could we be so wrong’ hand-wringing over Clinton taking New Hampshire*, let’s retreat to a much less rage-inducing political practice: Transposing the candidates with beloved characters from Star Wars.
Okay, so these are mostly pretty dumb, but I’ll give the guy credit for cleverness in who got picked for who. For instance:
Grand Moff Giuliani
We need a president who has experience running a large, unwieldy government. Like the Empire. “Hey, they said it was unmanageable, ungovernable… a large majority wanted to leave and live somewhere else,” his campaign ads say. Well, Giuliani certainly turned things around… he built the Death Star! “By the time I left office,” he continues, “the Death Star was the best example of conservative government in the galaxy!” Some folks might disagree with his foreign policy, though, consisting as it does of pretty much blasting whole planets into rubble.