It’s about time someone stepped up to let the animal kingdom know that we know what they’re doing with those oh-so-cutesy poses, and we don’t appreciated it one bit. Consider it the Omega to Cute Overload’s Alpha. To whit:
Monkey, I swear to God, if there isn’t a gun just off camera or a man with a giant hammer running towards you, you are in SERIOUS FUCKING TROUBLE. I understand that in the event of an emergency you are advised to grab anything else in the area that is cute and therefore double your cute defenses, but Monkey THIS IS DEFCON 2 LEVEL SHIT. I would think even if you had personally murdered Whitney Houston and then said disparaging things about Muhammad (peace be upon him -ed.) Osama Bin Laden would be helpless to your powers. Come to think of it, if everyone had a monkey just out of reach of a dove, perhaps we could bring about world peace. Fuck you, Monkey, for hoarding the technology.
Visit the wonder that is Fuck You, Penguin