The Ultimate Chuck Norris Fact Collection

by alphamonkey on November 16, 2009 · 2 comments

in Uncategorized

chuck norrisHear the truth about Chuck Norris…

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.

Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

And, my favorite: Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills People. Check out the full list!

  • Reddit
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Digg
  • LinkedIn
  • RSS
  • StumbleUpon
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Posterous
  • Tumblr
  • .alphamonkey.

    Here’s a Chuck Norris fact: Chuck Norris supported an anti-gay, not-particularly-friendly-to-women, Christianist for President.

    Kinda takes some of the sheen off the mustache, doesn’t it?

  • Cap’n Carrot

    Bah, just like Jean Claude Van Damme or Steven Segal he doesn’t need brains to deliver his level of stupefying beautarded insanity. If we’re looking to the likes of old action stars for guidance on which candidate to vote for then I’m afraid we lost the battle long, long ago.

Previous post:

Next post: