It’s hard for me to wrap my brain around why everyone involved in a project like Immortals wouldn’t use all of their considerable influence to prevent anyone from seeing this. Ever. Wow, this looks mindbogglingly awful. Is Uwe Boll now directing movies under the name Tarsem Singh? It’s like 300, but not as stylish, or Troy but with more of a sci-fi/fantasy vibe. Oh, did I mention the main character has a laser bow. Did I miss a memo? Is it 1983 again? Henry Cavill, Mickey Rourke, Kellan Lutz, John Hurt, Stephen Dorff, Isabel Lucas, and Freida Pinto also star. You can start fearing for your sanity when the film hits theaters on 11/11/11 (oh, isn’t that clever?).