Trailer time – The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption

by Cap'n Carrot on November 1, 2011 · 8 comments

in Film

I hope you’re sitting down because not only is Universal putting out another straight-to-video sequel for The Scorpion King but this one has Billy ZaneRon Perlman, the WWE’s Dave Bautista and Kimbo Slice! Oh my, this looks terrible. The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption hits DVD shelves on January 17th.

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  • CoosCoos

    Wow. Shockingly bad. It’s sad to see Billy Zane has fallen so far from The Phantom. Wait . . . it wasn’t that far of a fall.

    Straight to DVD? Why waste money pressing DVDs for this nonsense? This movie should only be streamed! Mark my words, soon movies will be so bad they will only be available on Netflix.

    • Cap’n Carrot

      Did you just insult The Phantom? Billy Zane, Kristy Swanson (in her only really watchable film) and Catherine Zeta-Jones!

      Just wait until I work myself up into enough nerd rage to respond.

      • CoosCoos

        Did you just say the only watchable film with Kristy Swanson is The Phantom? She was in Buffy! A much better movie than that awful TV show (Joss Whedon is a hack!). And The Phantom was laughable.

        Whoa. You and I may be polar opposites. I think I may have just met my Nemesis. This is exciting!

        • Cap’n Carrot

          The TV show was way better than the film which was far too cheesy for my tastes (although I’m not going to argue the merits of a young Kristy Swanson in a cheerleader uniform). But I’ll take TV Buffy over movie Buffy at every opportunity (even the not-so-great episodes).

          The Phantom has a high cheese factor as well, similar (but better) to Baldwin’s The Shadow, and it does a fair job of translating the character for a campy Saturday matinee serial kind of feel.

          • CoosCoos

            But the Buffy movie was a *comedy*, so it’s okay to be cheesy. Plus it had one of the best death scenes ever, brilliantly played out by Paul Reubens of all people:

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCOzKufIIzs

            But The Phantom wasn’t a comedy, at least not intentionally. I did laugh when I saw it, though. Not at it’s jokes, but at it’s acting, writing, and production.

            Don’t get me started on The Shadow.

            We shall have to agree to disagree, my newfound Nemesis.

          • Cap’n Carrot

            I’d say The Phantom is far more similar in tone to Buffy than you’re giving it credit for, including villains eating their weight in scenery, it seems what we’re differing on is the type of humor. The movie I like is funny. (heh)

            My problem with the Buffy movie is I thought the show did a much better job at mixing comedy, horror, and dramatic moments in giving the audience more than just another popcorn cheeseball vampire flick. In the end I didn’t care what happened to Swanson’s Buffy, but I did care what happened to Gellar’s.

            I think The Shadow definitely has issues as well, especially the choice to change Margo Lane into a psychic mind-reader, but it has that same type of cheesy humor (such as when The Shadow warns Khan not to disparage the good ol’ USA).

  • MavMurdoc

    What about Kristy Swanson as the hot bar tender in Early Edition? I know it was a TV show, but that was pretty good. And yea… TV Buffy over Movie Buffy any and every day of the week. (Feels personally offended at the “Joss Whedon is a hack” statement. Have you SEEN Dr. Horrible?!?!?!?)

    • Cap’n Carrot

      Early Edition? Is that the one where Dr. Sam Beckett goes back in time to right wrongs? Oh wait, that was Quantum Leap. Actually, I never really watched Early Edition so I can’t say much on that topic.

      And I’ll agree with you that Dr. Horrible was a great fun little web series.

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