who fought half of his country
to save half his men.
Now fights vampires,
it seems – and it’s not even
silly Troma flick.
Such flowing stupidity
cannot enchant us?
And yet, alas, no.
Willing to play with genre
makes not a movie.
Big, silly action -
Abraham hopping horses
to kill a cyclops.
Funny in concept,
yet dull in execution.
Weak in direction.
We lost fun, so much
Could have been a real hoot
Instead? It’s boring.
Why write in Haiku?
The film is more gimmicky,
so why the hell not.
