Michael Bay can EABOD

How To Make a MICHAEL BAY Film In 3 Minutes Or Less

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Michael Bay loves lampposts and other takeaways from the director’s body of work.

Michael Bay – What is Bayhem?

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Honest Trailers – Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

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Check out this massive 24in. Megatron figure built from sheet styrene by JAFAK075. Well done sir!

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Screen Junkies offers us a look at what an honest trailer for Michael Bay’s Transformers would look like.

Honest Trailers: Transformers

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TMZ has acquired footage of a drunken beatdown of Transformers and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull star Shia LaBeouf at the hands of one individual whose hatred of those films boiled over after news of yet another Transformers travesty could be on the way.*

Shia LaBeouf Fight — Pummeled to the Ground on Vancouver Sidewalk

*Okay, it’s possible the fight might have been about something else, but I’m just going to assume it’s Michael Bay’s Transformers related (almost everything awful is).

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Filmmakers are known for a number of stylistic choices that define their movies and careers. Zack Snyder loves the slo-mo more than breathing, Kevin Smith’s characters are required to speak in monologues, Joss Whedon loves emotionally damaged teenage super-heroines (are we sure Veil isn’t making an appearance in The Avengers?), Judd Apatow is to blame largely responsible for the recent run of raunchy movies with a heart of gold, Paul W.S. Anderson doesn’t care if his movies make a lick of sense as long as they are universally awful, and Michael Bay has The Epic Spinning Shot Supercut.

[via Screen Junkies]

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transformers-dark-of-the-moon-wide-poster

It’s official, Michael Bay can now be legitimately named the serial rapist of my childhood. Three Transformers movies and the man still doesn’t know what the hell a robot is (let alone a Transformer). Short version: Despite showing a momentary early glimmer of promise of not totally sucking, the film wastes what little it had going for it by making a series of mistakes and beating you down with a level of stupidity it’s hard to believe was done on purpose. For the first, but certainly not the last, time in this review, let me just say: Fuck you Michael Bay.

What works? The special effects are well done. The 3D isn’t Avatar level but is still impressive. Everything else? Hold on to your seats boys and girls this is going to get messy. Spoilers be damned, I’ve got a hellova lot to talk about. You’ve been warned!

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And that’s only one of my complaints with this first trailer for third movie in Michael Bay’s reimagined version of the Transformers franchiseShia LaBeouf returns (with Victoria Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley standing  in for Megan Fox) for Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon which has something to do with the discovery of Transformers on the moon in the 1960’s (which I’m assuming we used to reverse engineer the Walkman?), a pissed off Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen), and metal bugs and snakes attacking the Earth. Josh DuhamelTyrese GibsonJohn MalkovichJohn Turturro, and Alan Tudyk also star. Hugo Weaving returns as the voice of Megatron and Leonard Nimoy will voice Sentinel Prime. The further desecration of my childhood will begin on July 1st.

Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon trailer

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At least that’s the message I’m taking away from this stop motion fan film featuring the 8-bit hero taking on the toy of the CGI-version of Starscream from Michael Bay’s Transformers (and a host of other robots as well).

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