movie reviews

Super Troopers 2

by Cap'n Carrot on April 19, 2018 · 0 comments

in Film

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2001’s Super Troopers may not have broken the box office, but the comedy featuring the Broken Lizard comedy group had definite charm and has earned itself solid cult status over the years. Not nearly as much fun as the original, with a plot more convoluted than necessary, there are still laughs to be had for a film that struggles fighting off sequelitis.

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Rampage

by Cap'n Carrot on April 11, 2018 · 0 comments

in Film

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Rampage is big dumb fun, but it’s a little light on the fun. Based on a simplistic 32 year-old arcade game and its various sequels concerning giant monsters toppling buildings, the film centers on Dwayne “It’s Okay to Call Me The Rock Again” Johnson and his ape friend George who is one of a small group of creatures enlarged and driven violent by gas from a secret orbital laboratory run by a pair of douchey CEOs (Malin Akerman and Jake Lacy, neither of whom appear competent enough to run a taco stand let alone a multi-billion dollar company). There’s also a scientist (Naomie Harris) and a government agent (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) who figure into the long and drawn-out set-up before the film finally offers us monsters destroying a city.

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Truth or Dare

by Cap'n Carrot on April 11, 2018 · 0 comments

in Film

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Director Jeff Wadlow‘s Blumhouse’s Truth or Dare is pretty standard stuff as a group of college kids get in over their heads in a bizarre situation that threatens all of their lives. While on their final spring break of college in Mexico, a stranger (Landon Liboiron) invites Olivia (Lucy Hale), Markie (Violett Beane), Lucas (Tyler Posey), Penelope (Sophia Ali), Tyson (Nolan Gerard Funk), Brad (Hayden Szeto), and Ronnie (Sam Lerner) to a cursed mission where he entices them into a game of truth or dare that gets deadly serious.

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Ready Player One is cotton candy, but it’s really good cotton candy. Based on Ernest Cline‘s 2011 book of the same name, the latest film from director Steven Spielberg takes us to the near future where life in the real world pales in comparison to the virtual reality of the OASIS where some go to play, some go to hide, and nearly all go to in order to avoid real life. Think of the OASIS as a virtual smorgasbord mashup of MMOs like World of Warcraft on steroids, mixed with every nostalgic 80s icon which can fit on a screen (and the film could get the rights for).

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I enjoyed 2013’s Pacific Rim as a throwaway action flick with sci-fi influences featuring robots fighting monsters, but aside from the possibility of having the robots fighting big-name threats like King Kong and Godzilla I wasn’t much interested in a sequel. Without director Guillermo del Toro, who is replaced here by Steven S. DeKnight, and returning stars only in supporting roles, Pacific Rim: Uprising has all the flaws of a bloated, over-complicated sequel trying to out-do the original. It also doesn’t help that the number of robot vs. robot scenes remind the viewer (painfully) of Michael Bay’s Transformers franchise.

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Tomb Raider

by Cap'n Carrot on March 15, 2018 · 0 comments

in Film

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Lara Croft is back. After the pair of financially successful (if pretty dumb) films starring Angelina Jolie in the early 2000s, the most famous video game archaeologist (sorry Mr. Jones) returns to the big screen. Because origin stories are all the rage, the latest Tomb Raider (following in the footsteps of the character’s more recent comic adventures) takes Lara back to the beginning to showcase how she became the world’s best tomb raider.

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A Wrinkle in Time

by Cap'n Carrot on March 8, 2018 · 0 comments

in Film

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I don’t know if writing the original story required heavy doses of LSD, but I have a hard time believing that there wasn’t some serious drug use putting this film together. Based on Madeleine L’Engle‘s 1962 novel of the same name, A Wrinkle in Time stars Storm Reid as troubled teenager who, along with her younger brother Charles Wallace (Deric McCabe), heads of on a fantastical adventure with three total strangers (Oprah Winfrey, Reese Witherspoon, and Mindy Kaling) who inform the children that their missing father (Chris Pine) is alive, trapped in a far off world, and needs their help. Oh, and Meg’s classmate (Levi Miller), who isn’t really even a friend, comes along as well. Because why not?

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Red Sparrow

by Cap'n Carrot on March 1, 2018 · 0 comments

in Film

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Adapted from Jason Matthews2013 novel of the same name (which apparently “borrowed” heavily from Black Widow‘s comic history), and starring Oscar-winning actress Jennifer Lawrence, Red Sparrow is a disappointment in every since of the word. This movie is B-A-D. A slow burn spy thriller, with jolts of quick-cut stylized action, plot holes big enough to drive the Death Star through, and sex scenes so laughable only Showgirls fans can truly appreciate them, the film is a complete waste of time for everyone involved. For the audience, it’s an excruciating, although sometimes laughably bad, experience.

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Love, Simon

by Cap'n Carrot on February 27, 2018 · 0 comments

in Film

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I’m a sucker for a good coming of age story. In many ways Love, Simon is fairly by the book. We’re given a likable high school student dealing with school, friends, and his first crush. The difference from most of these types of mainstream films, is that Simon (Nick Robinson) is gay. What makes the film work is that while Simon frets about what others will think of him if they learn the truth, his gayness doesn’t solely define him as a character.

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Annihilation

by Cap'n Carrot on February 22, 2018 · 0 comments

in Film

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I love Ex Machina (enough to name it my favorite film of 2015), but holy hell is director Alex Garland‘s follow-up project a clusterfuck. Based on the novel of the same name by Jeff VanderMeer, Annihilation focuses on a biologist and former soldier (Natalie Portman) who chooses to journey into a rainbow-curtain rift (referred to as a shimmer) with four other female scientists (Jennifer Jason Leigh, Gina Rodriguez, Tuva Novotny, and Tessa Thompson) in hopes of understanding what is happening inside and what the anomaly did to her husband (Oscar Isaac) who was the only soldier sent from any of the previous expeditions to make it out alive.

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