movie reviews

murder-on-the-orient-express-2017-pic1

2017’s Murder on the Orient Express isn’t the first adaptation of Agatha Christie’s work, nor is likely to be the last. Director Kenneth Branagh, who also stars as Christie’s famous detective Hercule Poirot, offers a stylish version of events featuring an all-star cast as mystery and murder unfold on the renown luxury passenger train which gets stuck in an avalanche with a murderer onboard. And, to make sure his performance won’t be forgotten, Branagh sports some of the most bizarre facial hair you’ll see on film (at least one not filed under Science Fiction).

[click to continue…]

{ 0 comments }

Thor: Ragnarok

by Cap'n Carrot on November 2, 2017 · 0 comments

in Film

thor-ragnarok-pic1

Marvel has struggled with creating a consistent and fully-realized film for either Thor or the Hulk. Sure Thor is okay. And The Incredible Hulk is fine, but neither is likely your favorite Marvel movie. The solution to throw the two together with a Ragnarok (end of Asgard)/Planet Hulk mash-up proves to be just what the doctor ordered. Oh, Doctor Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch) is here, too. Thor: Ragnarok marks the first time in four films that Thor (Chris Hemsworth) has actually been more interesting than Loki (Tom Hiddleston). Don’t get me wrong, Hiddleston is still charming as hell, but taking Thor away from Earth and (mostly) Asgard frees the character up considerably for one hell of a fun ride that rivals Guardians of the Galaxy for Marvel Studios’ best space adventure.

[click to continue…]

{ 0 comments }

Goodbye Christopher Robin

by Cap'n Carrot on October 27, 2017 · 0 comments

in Film

goodbye-christopher-robin-pic1

Based on the true story of writer A. A. Milne (Domhnall Gleeson) and his creation Winnie-the-Pooh, Goodbye Christopher Robin is more than it initially might seem. Much like Milne himself, returned from war with PTSD and struggling with getting back to work as a writer, the script by Frank Cottrell Boyce and Simon Vaughan struggles before getting the man and his family into the setting which would eventually help create one of the world’s most-beloved fictional characters.

[click to continue…]

{ 0 comments }

Suburbicon

by Cap'n Carrot on October 26, 2017 · 0 comments

in Film

suburbicon-pic2

I really wanted to like director George Clooney‘s Suburbicon. Sadly, the mix of dark comedy, murder, racial injustice, and social commentary flails about for far too much of its 104-minute running time without ever coming together. Clooney produces an only somewhat interesting film with admittedly intriguing pieces and strong performances, but sadly the film never really clicks.

[click to continue…]

{ 0 comments }

Blade Runner 2049

by Cap'n Carrot on October 2, 2017 · 0 comments

in Film

blade-runner-2049-1

Good news, bad news. Blade Runner 2049 isn’t as good as the original. It’s also far better than I expected from a sequel no one really ever wanted to see made. While I’d expect the initial reception to be better than the original Blade Runner, the sequel’s plot does have serious plot holes which multiple viewings are likely to further expose.

[click to continue…]

{ 0 comments }

American Made

by Cap'n Carrot on September 29, 2017 · 0 comments

in Film

american-made-pic1

We’ve seen this all before. And even if we’ve seen it done better at times (see Charlie Wilson’s War, The Wolf of Wall Street, The Big Short, American Hustle, and others), American Made certainly entertains. Director Doug Liman and screenwriter Gary Spinelli come together with star Tom Cruise to offer us another one of those stories too crazy not to be true.

[click to continue…]

{ 0 comments }

Kingsman: The Golden Circle

by Cap'n Carrot on September 21, 2017 · 0 comments

in Film

kingsman-the-golden-circle-pic1

While I enjoyed writer-director Matthew Vaughn‘s absurdly over-the-top (but not that original) Bond spoof, I was far from the biggest fan of Kingsman: The Secret Service. Two years later Vaughn returns with most of the key figures from the first film offering more of the same while widening the world and opening the franchise to new sequel opportunities. The script follows the still unfortunately-named Eggsy (Taron Egerton) as one of the few surviving members of Kingsman which is destroyed by a crazy drug kingpin (Julianne Moore) who has a failed Kingsman recruit (Edward Holcroft) on her payroll.

[click to continue…]

{ 0 comments }

I Do… Until I Don’t

by Cap'n Carrot on August 30, 2017 · 0 comments

in Film

i-do-until-i-dont-posterDolly Wells stars as a documentary filmmaker with a personal vendetta against marriage who sets out to prove that the concept no longer works in a modern world. In order to prove her thesis that matrimony should only last for seven years (with an option to renew), the filmmaker sets her sights on three unhappy Florida couples: a pair of senior citizens (Paul Reiser and Mary Steenburgen), a middle-aged couple (Lake Bell and Ed Helms) struggling with money and starting a family, and pair of free-love hippies (Wyatt Cenac and Amber Heard).

Writer, director, and star Lake Bell may have won me over with 2013’s In a World…, but her latest is severely lacking in charm (while sadly having no lack of cliche to fall back on). After an hour of insufferable characters who only really begin to show small moments humanity in the film’s last half-hour, I Do… Until I Don’t is like the first date from hell that only gets bearable as it nears its end. Even the few moments of genuine emotion we see in the last half-hour are sullied by the script falling back into the contrivance of the filmmaker’s project in its final few moments.

[click to continue…]

{ 0 comments }

hitmans-bodyguard-posterWhen searching for something, anything, positive to say about a bad movie you can almost always fall back on “Well, at least it was in focus.” Sadly, I can’t even offer that most basic of compliments to The Hitman’s Bodyguard in which any strong ambient light destroys the focus of the shot, highlighting characters in a fuzzy glow while blurring out the entire background in a bizarrely amateurish manner.

Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson star in an uninspired buddy comedy about a once-proud bodyguard and his newest client, a man who has attempted to kill him on numerous occasions, who he needs to deliver in time to testify against a bland movie villain (Gary Oldman) for reasons that only makes sense in a script where things explode for no reason whatsoever.

Although there are some minor chuckles to be had (mostly from the pair adlibbing), and one strong chase sequence around the canals of Amsterdam, The Hitman’s Bodyguard is an uninspired mess featuring two actors screaming at each other for the better part of two hours.

[click to continue…]

{ 0 comments }

atomic-blonde-pic1

It’s easy to compare Atomic Blonde to John Wick. Charlize Theron stars as a talented killer who will leave a wide swath of bodies in her wake through a series of well-executed stunt sequences. Director David Leitch (who was un-credited for directing some scenes in the previously-mentioned Keanu Reeves action flick) takes the helm and brings the same energy and feel to this project. However, the comparison only goes so far.

[click to continue…]

{ 0 comments }