I don’t know what you guys are doing reading all those phoney top ten lists over there, what with their overpraise of films in which women shit in bathroom sinks.

A shame, that – after all, this, mine, is the authoritative tome that Scholars will look back on and shower with statuses of validity upon as the definitive list. “Yeah, you know what, The Artist wasn’t a lot more than a nice movie, Sparkle was totally right,” they’ll say a thousand years from now. And I shall smile down on them from Future Heaven, which is just like regular Heaven but with astronaut food, hover boards, and a hilarious robot that is actually pretty good at Stand-Up.

Anyway, here are the ten best motion pictures of the year:

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Full list of 2011 Oscar nominees. The 83rd Academy Awards are February 27, 2011 and here are the nominees for the year 2010 in film. Announced this morning, here are the nominees (updated as they come in…) “The King’s Speech” leads with 12 nominations, “True Grit” is second with 10. “The Social Network” and “Inception” have 8, although Andrew Garfield and Christopher Nolan were left out in Supporting Actor and Director, respectively. “The Fighter” has 7…

Peruse full list of nominees


Classic clip of film critics Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert stopping by Sesame Street to explain the concept of “Thumbs Up” and “Thumbs Down” to Oscar and Telly. (Something our pal Eric still has trouble with – as you can tell by his positive reviews of Michael Bay’s Transformers flicks.)

Sesame Street – “Sneak Peek Previews” with SISKEL & EBERT!


is green and lives in a trash can. Like a hobo, or a meth-head.