I was downright excited to be seeing The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 1 (two colons!) when I walked into my screening. This series is a completely unique sort of awful – they’re damn near impossible to defend, and yet they’ve made enough gajillions of dollars to ensure movies will be made until we run out of books, and the studio has little reason to change a formula that’s worked out pretty well for them.
So in essence, we keep getting movies with hysterical relationships and conflicts, and no one profits more than the masochistic lovers of Shitty Cinema like your’s truly. And my brothers, while tTS:BD:P1 might not reach heights of stupidity like of the first two chapters, we’ve got a lot to be thankful for here.
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Tagged as:
"I know it's impossible but I think I'm pregnant",
Bill Condon,
evil babies,
kristen stewart,
Mary Sue,
My Mom likes these movies and that forces me to question everything about my upbringing,
Oh who am I kidding I probably like these movies more than most of the legitimate fans,
robert pattinson,
taylor lautner,
Teenagers,
This is a movie that posits that "Renesmee" can be a name for a person,
vampires,
Werewolves running in the rain,
wolves screaming at each other with their brains
Few films have been so fair game for mocking and online-snarkery than the Twilight movies – two flicks that failed to achieve any resemblance to reality, and spiraled instead towards Mary Sue stereotypes perpetuated by stiff, unintentionally hilarious dialogue and acting. Revelers of the awful cinema, like myself, certainly have no room to complain. But with Eclipse, the third in the series, we’re all going to have to give Jacob, Edward and Bella a break because it turns out – hold onto your butts – The Twilight Saga: Eclipse fails to be a that bad of a film. [click to continue…]
Tagged as:
chick flick,
david slade,
eclipse,
kristin stewart,
movie reviews,
robert pattinson,
stephanie meyer,
taylor lautner,
twilight,
vampire,
werewolf
