I was downright excited to be seeing The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 1 (two colons!) when I walked into my screening. This series is a completely unique sort of awful – they’re damn near impossible to defend, and yet they’ve made enough gajillions of dollars to ensure movies will be made until we run out of books, and the studio has little reason to change a formula that’s worked out pretty well for them.
So in essence, we keep getting movies with hysterical relationships and conflicts, and no one profits more than the masochistic lovers of Shitty Cinema like your’s truly. And my brothers, while tTS:BD:P1 might not reach heights of stupidity like of the first two chapters, we’ve got a lot to be thankful for here.
Strange things are afoot on this year’s Psych Halloween episode as Shawn (James Roday), Gus (Dulé Hill), and Juliet (Maggie Lawson) investigate a murder where the victim’s body was drained of all blood and Lassiter (Timothy Omundson) meets an alluring woman (Kristy Swanson) who takes an immediate attraction to him before disappearing and become a suspect in the murder investigation.
In the dystopian future ruled by the Church most of the world is a wasteland after centuries of battle between humans and vampires. The film opens with the last of these battles as the Church’s best warriors, known simply as Priests, set out to destroy the last hive of vampires. They are victorious, but only at the cost of losing one of their own (Karl Urban).
The film skips an undetermined amount of time into the future when the Priests have been disbanded and all vampires are believed dead. An attack on his brother’s home on the edge of the wasteland sends one Priest (Paul Bettany), against the Church’s orders on a hunt to rescue his niece (Lily Collins).
With one or two exceptions, I’m not usually one for vampire stories. Sure I have some fondness to cheesy flicks from my childhood such as Love at First Bite and Once Bitten, but for the most part vampire movies leave me cold. So when I find one I enjoy I’m pleasantly surprised.
Seems the Emancipation Proclamation wasn’t the only thing honest Abe did back in his day. Too bad these events have been forever lost in time… Wait! Seth Grahame-Smith (author of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies) is here to tell us the tale. Check out this creepy trailer for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter which hits bookshelves today.