WTF DC?!

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Wow. This was just… Wow. If you could sum up the trainwreck DC’s New 52 has become in a single issue you might choose Justice League #5 as a prime example.

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I’ve enjoyed the New 52 version of the Justice League, but this latest issue from writer Geoff Johns and artist Jim Lee is a complete trainwreck. For the issue that introduces Darkseid, one of DC Comics’ biggest and baddest villains, to fumble the ball this badly is simply inexcusable.

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In terms of convoluted history there are few who can stand toe-to-toe with Hawkman. The character has been rebooted so many times, each adding a unique spin from everything from a reincarnated Egyptian pharaoh to a space cop, it would be almost impossible to add anything new to the mix that would make less sense. And yet, writer Tony S. Daniel finds a way.

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Given the fact that I’ve been less than impressed so far with DC’s Retroactive titles maybe I should have been prepared, but this is a 1970’s Green Lantern story told by Dennis O’Neil (although drawn by Mike Grell instead of Neal Adams). After the overall meh-ness of the Batman title (don’t even get me started on the crappy Flash one) my expectations were set pretty damn low for this one. Turns out, I was still expecting too much.

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So, Kid Flash is not only lost in the Flashpoint universe, he’s also in the 31st Century. He’s a time traveler, I guess that’ll be okay. And, like Barry Allen he’s disconnected from the Speed Force. Sounds kinda boring, but maybe the story will be good. The 31st Century is ruled by Braniac. Braniac? Sigh, okay. And he’s turned the entire world into The Matrix. Wait, what?

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When I saw the list for the different spin-off titles for Flashpoint one that caught my eye was this one-shot centered around the character of Grodd, a devious genius with advanced telepathic abilities… who happens to be a gorilla. The idea of giving Grodd his own Flashpoint title seemed like a good one. The reality? Not so much.

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For an issue that is jam-packed with important events and characters I’m not quite sure how this issue of Batman is such a trainwreck. Two-Face returns to Gotham, but he’s not the only Dent who’s got a role to play.

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DC Comics year-long maxi-series follow-up to Blackest Night has been a trainwreck, and that’s putting it nicely. After 24 grueling issues Brightest Day has finally, and thankfully, come to an end. What was the point with bringing characters back from the dead, killing some of them off again, and generally writing bewildering stories about the restoration of the White Lantern that never went anywhere? Swamp Thing.

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I will be so glad when Brightest Day is over. Hal Jordan and the rainbow corps come face-to-face with Krona (and get their asses handed to them in short order). Krona escapes with the entities and Hal wakes up hours later back on th JLA Satelitte with a concussion and broken ribs just in time for a scolding from Batman.

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You’d think a comic showcasing two of my favorite DC heroes would be the kind of thing I’d enjoy. You’d be wrong.

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